Story of an innocent shop-o-holic ;-)

** A casual conversation with a friend while strolling to the bus stop from the class sometime last week**

Friend: You know, I end up buying a lot of footwear.
Me: Wow...That's so cool!
Friend: But, I already have a lot of shoes and other footwear!
Me: Hmm, how many?
Friend: ##
Me: Wow...17 pairs!
Friend: No! 70...
Me: Ohh 70! you mean in your entire life till date?
Friend: No! Currently...
Me: Ofcourse I could not respond immediately...that was too much data even for a girl.
Friend: But I don't think 70 can be a correct number. There are a few pairs I no longer wear, say about 5 or 6...So, how many do you have?
Me: 4 :-)

Its really crazy these days!

I feel like I don't have time to even sit and breathe! Yet I felt like writing this one. My classes have started and there is so much to study already! The books are giant sized too, scaring me all the time and I have to work really hard since the exam date is just a month and some away. Then there is the usual everyday stuff - meeting people, attending family functions at my hometown which cannot be avoided at any cost, trying to be in touch with all my friends in the midst of all this craziness, dealing with the guilt of not being able to spend enough time with family...phew, all this is zapping most of my energy!! Can someone get a glass of lemonade for me please :-(

Though I feel like a mess - as if I am being pulled in all directions at the same time, I have never felt such positivity before in such tough times...as if something is pushing me to keep going, that inner voice telling me to take it all up as a challenge.

And yet, in the midst of all this craziness, life goes on....

What the eff am I doing?

Sometimes I have these what-the-eff-am-I-doing moments about the way the things are. I suppose we all do at some point in time.

The thing is, I don't know why I should even bother when I have never really known. My wants have always been little and specific. Some highs have been really highs and the lows - well, dealing with the lows and the losses has always been the toughest.

What I feel really smug about are the experiences! I don't really care sometimes where these stack up against my own standards. Sometimes, it just irritates me because these are the only things I really have or something I've really earned (I am not even sure if earned is the right word here!) - each mistake, each false step, each erratic decision or even the times when I did something right.

My mom says that's what I'll have to treasure. All the ups and downs and dramas, the things, I can't still quite believe have happened. I say it all the time and I say it again - time really flies and you never know how!

Three cheers to the roller-coaster ride that never ends....

Knock Knock

"Knock, Knock"...

Who's there??

"Opportunity"...

Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!!

Thank you everyone for the wonderful wishes :-)

Thank you those who loved and still love me so much, I love you all too so much and you make my heart go fonder every time.

Thank you those who cared and still care for me, you make me feel important all the time.

Thank you those who entered and still are there in my life, because of you I am who I am today.

Thank you those who stayed and are still there with me in all my ups and downs, you showed me what true love and friendship is all about.

Thank you also those who hated and still hate me, you make me stronger with each passing day.

And last but never the least,

Thank you each and every one who wished me happiness and a great future on my birthday today, you all made my day even more special and beautiful :-)

Loads of hugs.

Accent crisis or identity crisis?

When I was in Germany, there was something I observed very strongly there. It amazed me how, many people tried so hard to be someone they were not! Many students and professionals going there or to the USA or for that matter, to any country abroad, from India, have sometimes this absolutely annoying tendency of trying to imitate the accent while speaking!

Yes, I am aware of the other side i.e the work commitments or business requirements that force many of us to do so! Nevertheless, has anyone seen or heard people from other nationalities do the same thing? They stick to their accents whereas we somehow feel ashamed of our own! Why should we try to imitate the so called all cool slang? Though we have studied in English medium schools and know very well that there is no correct pronunciation, why do we feel ashamed of a touch of either Tamil or Hindi or Kannada or Telugu accent to our English? I do remember that I had written about "The way of the Mallu" in one of my earlier posts. However, if I had even a  touch of Malayalam in my accent, I would only be proud of it :-)

I always feel that it is absolutely okay to be different and be respected for that difference. If we are confident and proud of it, people will automatically respect us and try to understand us. We don't necessarily have to say "caayn't" for can't or "laderrrr" for later, do we? Sometimes I genuinely feel that by trying to copy their exclamations and jargons, we just end up looking nothing but stupid!

I feel that this is no different than going through an identity crisis more than the language or the accent. The only difference being that we never realize we are fighting with ourselves here! We never speak with the same accent when we are with our own folks back home, then why do it when we are elsewhere? Yes, we might be mocked at for being ourselves. But, trust me, we are better off being mocked at by people we don't know than by people we do know...

Ever wonder why?

I've always wondered why people say "Bless You" when you sneeze! There are probably hundreds of reasons but the common ones I've heard are -

• When you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond! I guess saying "bless you" is a way of reviving it!
• In ancient times, people believed that when you sneezed, your soul flew out of your body and saying "bless you" made it go right back in!

Really weird huh? Well, speaking of sneezing, did you know that if you sneeze too hard, you might fracture a rib? And if you try to suppress it, you might even rupture a blood vessel in your head/neck and die?

Wow...talk about scary huh...

Some other interesting but potentially useless facts that I've heard of are -

• On an average, more people fear spiders/cockroach/lizards than death!
• The ant always falls over on its right side when it is intoxicated! I have no idea who had the patience to actually observe this one!!!!
• Coca-Cola was originally green!
• The cigarette lighter was invented before the match!
• The heart pumps blood in the body with enough pressure to send it squirting 30 feet!

I have absolutely no idea how many of these facts are really true and I don't really have the patience to find out. I just thought that it made interesting reading!

Questionable Thoughts!

Well, the other day, I saw two really close buddies having a big argument. It seemed to me about something really  important. Though they seem to have apologized later and back on track, I have been thinking a lot about it and there seem to be too many questions bugging me!

I just wanted an outlet for those crazy questions. So, brace yourselves!

• When two people in a close relationship fight or have an argument because one of them said something hurtful, then do they ever get past it? 
• Does the other person stop hurting even if the person who made the mistake apologizes? 
• Does the person who apologized ever feel less guilty about whatever they did? 
• Does apologizing really help? Is there even a thing as to "forgive and forget"? 
• Is saying sorry really the hardest thing to do? Or is it just a quick and easy way of ending a long drawn-out argument? 
• Is it ever too late to apologize if you really really mean it? 
• Does making a mistake condemn you for life? Does every fight come with a price?
• Why do misunderstandings always creep between those people who supposedly know each other in and out? When friends, siblings, spouses know each other for so long, then shouldn't the arguments become less? Is that the price you pay for that close relationship? 
• Is it ever possible to be close to someone and never argue? Is there even such a thing as a fight/argument-free relationship? Or, as some say it, does fighting mean you are more affectionate?
• Why do relationships get more complex the older you grow? Why do things that never bothered you when you were young, get to you when you're older? As a child, you never read between the lines, you never assumed, you were never crazy or paranoid. Why does growing up come with all those extra attachments/baggage? 
• Does there ever come a point in time when you don't feel confused and lost anymore? How long does it take to attain emotional maturity?
• Why do I have so many questions? Is there such a thing as "too many questions"? Do any of these questions have answers? Do we just keep asking, in the hopes of finding an answer some day, or do we just accept the fact that they have no answers and stop wondering altogether?

Does any of this make any sense!!?

Is this the right choice baby?

A while ago, I took this mock English language proficiency test online just to check where I stood when it came to English. I had to answer 75 multiple choice questions in 60 mins! I wasn't particularly worried about the time limit. I mean, I've been studying English right from my school days and it's always been one of my favorites. So, an English test should not be a big deal...right?

Right...well, almost! The paper was mostly okay but there were some tricky ones here and there. Questions, that made me stop and think for a while...the kind of stuff that makes you doubt your abilities...like the words principal/principle, discrete/discreet, advice/advise, collage/college etc. These words are a piece of cake actually. But, sometimes, these are the sort of simple yet complicated words that suddenly fall into the "I'm not so sure" list, even though, deep down, you probably know the right answer!

There was this one question, even though I knew the answer right away, had me stumped for a while as I got suddenly transported to the not so sure domain!! For the grammar aficionados out there (wow, till this moment I thought aficionados had two 'f''s ...thank you spell check, its only one 'f'!), this was the question -

"Either you or I [is/are/am] to blame"  (Choose the right option)

So, there I was, trying to figure out the correct option with a completely confused head. I knew the answer right away but somehow suddenly I was not so sure! I said the line in my head again and again with different options every time, until the sentence with a particular word started sounding alien with one particular option. But as it is, I got more confused. So, I decided to answer the remaining questions and then come back to this one in the end, hoping that by some miracle, I would arrive at the answer when I look at it with a fresh mind. But no such luck! I must have looked like an idiot to my family members as I screwed up my face in all possible ways hoping to get the answer by the right intonation in my head which ultimately showed on my face!! 

I was getting frustrated. I had finished the remaining paper and only this question was troubling me. I have almost always worked grammar this way. If it doesn't sound right when I say it, it probably isn't! What was the right choice? What do you do when your first instinct tells you one answer which you know is right but something else insists that none of the options is the right answer?? Ultimately I answered the question with my first gut instinct.

This got me thinking. What happens when such a confusing question pops in our life and there are only a few valid choices that you can make? Your first instinct tells you that the answer lies in one of the options right in front of you but somehow you feel that none of them is the ideal solution. You imagine your life with the solution fit into it and somehow it doesn't feel good or right. What do you do? How do you choose? What helps you make the right decision? Is it the beauty of life? That there are no right or wrong decisions - just decisions and what 'you' make of them?

Well, I do hope so! :-)

Changing views and set minds!

You're probably getting sick of me writing about life and philosophies for the past two or so posts. So, here's something to read and think about! Let me also warn you on its length beforehand! If you have continued reading and are here now, sit back, relax and enjoy :-)

Usually, when it comes to following traditions, we follow the same age-old traditions/customs/rituals of our elders without even trying to understand their importance or meaning. The most significant among them being the marriage ceremony which becomes a social event where about 500 to 1000 guests are invited (I am talking about an average middle class wedding here) most of whom the wedding couple would be meeting for the first time!

In every culture, people have their own set of rituals and traditions that are being followed since time immemorial. For example, a typical South Indian Iyer wedding these days lasts about 2-3 days with the wedding expenditure being borne by the brides's family. The rituals consist of a Kaappu Kettu for the bride and Vratham for the groom (prayers offered to the ancestors seeking their blessings usually performed on the the wedding day), Janavasam (the archetypical Indian procession of the groom full of music, dancing and crackers), Nischayathartham (the engagement which is also performed sometimes a day before the wedding day but after the Vratham), Kaashi Yatrai (an age-old ritual where the groom decides to take up monkhood for spiritual pursuit but is ultimately convinced by the bride's father to return and take up a family life where he promises that the bride would eventually assist him in his spiritual pursuit), Maalai Maatral (After being convinced, the groom agrees and exchanges garlands with the bride), Oonjal (and eventually the bride and groom head to a swing where the elderly womenfolk perform rituals to ward off evil spirits), Kanyadaanam (the bride's father offers her hand in marriage to the groom), Thirumangalyam (the bride sits on her father's lap and the groom ties the holy yellow thread. He ties only one knot with the thread where the other two knots are tied by the groom's sister), Nalungu (the wedding games) and the Reception. Phew...I am already tired writing about the rituals!!

The reason I wrote the above is to give a clear picture on those rituals. Many of those belong to that period of time where marriages were performed at a very early age. Rituals like Oonjal and Nalungu were performed to keep the mood light and fun for the newly weds who were mostly kids so that they can start building a good rapport with each other as the marriages used to be arranged by the elders completely. In those days, it is said that mostly the bride and groom used to actually see each other for the first time only on the day of the wedding! Imagine that!!

The other day, I was discussing marriage ceremonies and traditions with my close friend after looking at some pictures of a wedding she had shared, which had taken place in an old temple. It seemed to be a simple wedding with just the close family and friends around. That made us really wonder how differently many weddings are arranged these days and how, many youngsters these days want to jump right to the main ceremony. I am not against following the rituals or our traditions. In this time and age, where a man and a woman do not agree to get married until they get to know each other in and out, some drama associated with the rituals can be avoided. Why not keep it simple and noiseless? :-)

There is also a drastic change in many people's views regarding marriage these days. With the marriage landscape changing on a regular basis, it is not at all surprising how the marriage vows "till death do us part" is changing to "till irreconcilable differences do us part" or "let's get married until you piss me off and then we'll get out of this"!! I also don't understand the concept of mentioning "death" on such a happy occasion either! With the divorce rates drastically increasing in our country, people seem to view marriage as more of a flexible commitment than as a permanent union of two people and their respective families! The vows taken in front of the holy fire or in front of their respective God, family, friends, relatives and all those people whom you don't know but had invited seem as just some excuse for not being alone or some fancy/fashion show! It is more like, when the going gets tough, people pack up and hit the road! It is true that for any relationship to work, love, affection and understanding should be bi-directional. At the same time, getting away from an abusive relationship or a disloyal partner after repeated attempts at working at it is a different thing altogether. Yet, the society fails to accept the fact that such things as a divorce does happen at times and it cannot be avoided at times. Also the fact that there might be very strong reasons behind the failed marriage which cannot be announced on a mic all the time!! I sometimes fail to understand why even though people seem to be well educated, their mindset still belongs to 10,000 BC!!!!

That way, I am really lucky to have a loving and practical family that supoorts me through thick and thin. My mother always used to give practical explanations to all my "why's" right since my childhood. For example, when I used to ask why we are told never to sit on the threshold during sunset, usually elders say its because Lord Narasimha killed the demon Hiranyaksha on the threshold during sunset and its a bad omen. My mother being the practical lady she is used to explain that we should not sit because some poisonous insect might bite us or we might hit our head while getting up from there etc which was true!

May be, its about time we start understanding what we follow and why :-)

Find a way around the bumps and bruises

For the sake of those who actually take time off and read my blog (Again I'm assuming I still have readers!) and who care about how I'm doing - Well, folks, I was not well for a while and still at my hometown and relaxing :-)

Today I was reading this article in an online magazine which was about five women who had overcome deadly situations in their life, fought back bravely and still got along with their lives. It said that these women had undergone a double lung transplant, an open heart surgery and yet gave birth to healthy twins, a cancer survivor, a survivor of a deadly bacterial infection and one of them who was a teenager had survived 15 knife wounds which most people wouldn't survive!

This article got me thinking about how people get along with their life. How bravely these women had faced those trying times in their life. Obviously, life is a giant roller coaster ride and definitely not smooth. Some people, when they hit a bump on the road of life, give up and turn around while others find ways to go over or around it. We should all get inspired by those women and never give up on anything.

Life is full of bumps and bruises. Its what we learn from it and what we do with it that makes us what we are :-)

A beautiful night

A silent and a beautiful night had set upon the beautiful house and the surroundings. My escapade to this beautiful place, which is a part of my growing up years, had just turned divine. For as far as I could see from the compound, there was not another soul lingering outside. The sound of the night was clear and crisp to the ears. There was an owl, a few crickets and also a couple of bats somewhere in the trees nearby but they also chose to silently admire the beautiful night for some time. There were some vehicles passing from time to time, but up there, where I sat in my cozy chair sipping a hot cup of coffee, I chose to ignore those sounds and just enjoyed the warmth of the lovely night.

I looked at the moon which was beautiful, at the same time painfully reminding me how drastically my life has changed over the last decade.

I realized, how easily we forget the fact that our pain, problems, illnesses and troubles affect as much those who love us so dearly. The more our family loves us, the more they are hurt seeing us getting hurt!! To some, this might seem silly. But, trust me, its not! We, very seldom stop to even think for a minute how they might have felt or what they might have gone through when we were in a bad shape yet how well they understood and said nothing. That is a BIG thing...ofcourse assuming that we love them back as dearly.

I realized that though the beauty of nature doesn't cure pain, it definitely makes it easier to endure it. I then decided that it was time to really move on. Thinking of someone, I smiled to myself, closed my eyes and sipped away my hot cup of coffee.

What time is it??

Teaching is a tough job you know. I have taught some kids when I was in college and I know first hand. It really is tough! At the end of every academic year, your students are like live, walking-talking report cards. If you happen to do a good job, great! If you don't, then imagine having a report card that jumps around telling every person how pathetically you have scored in the teaching department!

Sometime ago, during a conversation with my friend, she asked me to teach her kids, eight and nine year old, "how to read time on the clock".

So, I told them...

Small hand shows the hour, big hand shows the minute. They nodded. I repeated...

Small hand shows the hour, big hand shows the minute. They nodded. I repeated...

Small hand shows the hour, big hand shows the minute. They nodded. I repeated...

Finally, when I was sure that I had the concept drilled into the very core of their brains, I gave them different times and asked them to mark it on the clock diagram. And guess what, they got it right!!!! :-)

I patted my back and ofcourse theirs too :)

Now, the kids came across a clock which showed this -

Kid - Its 7:50!!!!

Me - No sweetie, you have marked it wrong. Your marking says 6:50!

Kid - ** gave me a confused look!

Me - ** returned the confused look!

Kid - Small hand shows the hour and big hand shows the minute. YOU SAID SO!!!!!!!!!!

So, by THAT logic, 7:50 means small hand on 7 and big hand on 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I know, I suck at teaching :-(

Believe and soar higher

I just discovered the fact that eagles know that a storm is approaching long before it breaks! Did you?

What the eagle does is to fly to some high spot and wait for the storm. And eventually, when the storm hits, it spreads its wings so that the storm picks it up and lifts it above the winds. So, while the storm rages below, the eagle flies above it! In effect, this means that the eagle doesn't escape the storm but merely uses the wind power of the storm to lift itself higher.

Similarly, when the storm of life hits upon us, we can rise above the difficulties by believing in ourselves and in that supreme power. We may not escape completely but can sure overcome the difficulties by our strong belief. 

It is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them :-)

Journey so far this year...

Loads of crap happens everyday in our lives - some professional and some of it personal. Life changes, people change and so does relationships. Either the year so far is bad in itself or maybe the bubble of everything superficial that I had been living in, just happened to burst. It has not bothered me so much as to lose my sleep over it. However, like every trouble that passes, I have faced it head on and also learnt my lessons!!

1. Saving is very important, Your financial situation might not always be hunky dory.
2. When in the office, work. Keep your heart, feelings and emotions at home. Office is not a place to make best friends. But its a great place to build contacts and acquaintances. Ofcourse, this depends on the kind of work environment you have or the kind of people you work with. But if you really want to make friends, then choose another department to do so!
3. Some people backstab. Live with it!
4. There will always be people whom you will look at and wonder, "How the eff did they reach where they are?" You might feel they are good for nothing, but the fact is that they are where they are and they must have done "something" right to get there. Go figure out.
5. Relationships do fail. It happens and most times you cannot do anything about it except to let go and move on!
6. No matter how much we try to tailor our lives, biology always wins. They say that human beings are born to get married, set a family, have kids and bring them up. Try going the other way and people will somehow or the other convince you into it!
7. Small amounts of success brings loads of empty ego and false pride. Always have someone at hand who can give you two tight slaps and bring you back where you ought to be.
8. Indulging in something you really love, occasionally, is necessary to keep you sane and normal.
9. People already have too many problems of their own. Do not ever expect anyone to understand yours. If you need help, then ask for it.
10. Everyone has their reasons for everything. You will also have yours one day.
11. Do not wait for happiness to come by. It always arrives when you least expect it to.

What's in a name? A Lot :)

A few weeks ago, while exiting the cinema hall after watching a movie, I caught a glimpse of a family waiting intently and going through the credits that roll at the end of the movie. I usually watch the credits roll by only if the movie bloopers are shown (Every Jackie Chan movie has one where they show clips of how the movie was made or how the stunts were shot). It is indeed a very rare sight to actually see someone care about the unsung heroes who made the movie what it was when everyone else is making a beeline to the exit door. Probably one of their family members was part of it?? May be...

The long list of names that appear, when all everyone else is bothered about is how to get to the exit door quickly and then to the parking lot, might mean the world to someone. Just imagine the lead actor's spot boy/makeup artist bringing their spouse and kids to watch the movie and then wait till the very end until their name rolls in one corner of the list on the screen. The pride on their spouse's face or the joy on their kids's face would mean so much. That split second of fame might actually make up for the high price tags those actors come with and the unreasonable tantrums they throw. The actors might have enchanted the audience with their performance but for that moment, that man/lady is the real hero atleast for their family.

This incident taught me a valuable lesson in life - It is very important to give credit and to acknowledge people for what they have done. It doesn't really matter how insignificant their effort/contribution might appear in the bigger picture of things.

Exceptions are welcome

Last week while coming back from my native place in a train, I saw a young lady of about 35 years get into the "reserved compartment" with three kids. Even when she was getting into the compartment, it was quite evident that she was confused. By the look on her face, I thought perhaps she was not a regular traveler. Ten minutes later, a ticket checker asked her for the ticket. And as expected, she had the "unreserved" ticket. Her reason was that the unreserved compartment was too crowded and she could not get in there with three kids by her side.

It might be difficult to explain but her reason was genuine. The ticket checker who had fined another man in the same compartment for ticket-less travel, let the lady go. The fellow passengers who overheard the conversation between the woman and the ticket checker also supported him and said that he did the right thing. Thankfully, the ticket checker was a kind-hearted man unlike some of the heartless automatons we encounter sometimes.

So, this incident made me think - perhaps everything that's meant to be rigid comes with its share of exceptions. Rules are important, but it's even more important to stick to the spirit of the rule!

Contact-less and how!

Yeah it happens to everyone and it has happened to me too a couple of times. Your trustworthy mobile phone sometimes cannot handle the work pressure and decides to go into hibernation and comes back to life but with no memory whatsoever of its earlier life or just decides to take off to another world (read dead or stolen). A friend of mine buzzed me today to ask my phone number as he had lost his mobile. That's when I started thinking of a life without the contacts, since contacts are supposed to be a person's backbone (really?).

But its not at all that bad you know. Like some long lost philosopher who said something about dark clouds and silver linings, I feel that this one also comes with its own share of benefits. Some of the positive points of losing your phone book numbers -

• In this age of Facebook, Gmail Chat and Skype, getting back the numbers is not that difficult. One common mail or a status message is enough to get them back. And if you think you are a person who has "important" contacts saved on their phone, well, everyone has them. Just ask the person sitting right next to you at work!
• You come to know the actual number of people who exist in your part of the stratosphere. The phone that is otherwise filled with so many random numbers and names that you might not even remember now but just ended up saving thinking they will be useful in the future, now only has the contacts of the people who matter to you most. And yeah you would be surprised that you can actually count them and really tell how big your world actually is.
• Most importantly, it serves as an excuse to think of those people who you would really want to stay in touch with, but perhaps did not take the initiative to do so or may be just played lazy. You get to touch base with them once again and hopefully this time, you would value the second chance you had got and ensure that the person is more than just a number in your contact list.
• When you start saving the numbers yet again, you take time and observe. Sometimes it so happens that the name that goes with the number may not be the same as what it was earlier. For example, a friend whose name you'd earlier saved as "Laxmy.XYZ" since college days, would now be saved as say "Lax" ;-) Earlier in my college days, I never bothered to save the person's last name. But not anymore, considering how I always come across people who have very common names that most probably already exist in your contact list. All colleagues and ex-colleagues are saved as the person's name followed by the organization name. So, do these changes say something about me? Well, I have changed. Go figure how :-P
• And last but never the least, if someone complains later how you never stay in touch, you can always say, "Arey yaar, my phone crashed/ I lost my mobile! What to do? You didn't call either!" ;-)

They said "it's up to you"

When I was growing up and was going away to live in a hostel all by my own, both my dad and mom told me a few things which I haven't forgotten even now. Those words really keep me sane always. Dad was in my thoughts throughout the day and I really miss him. Just decided to share the golden words -

We gave you life, but we cannot live it for you.
We can only teach you things but we cannot make you learn.
We can only take you to temples, but we cannot make you believe.
We can only teach and assist you to differentiate between right and wrong, but we cannot decide for you.
We can only teach you respect, kindness and honor, but we cannot force you to show it.
We can only advice and warn you about bad friendship, drugs and alcohol, but we cannot prevent the possibility.
We can only teach you about desire to excel, goals and dreams, but we cannot achieve them for you.
We can only warn you about committing grave mistakes and sin, but we cannot make your morals.
We can only tell you how to live, love you loads as our dearest daughter and pray for you and your future, but IT'S UP TO YOU

Love you loads mom and dad for making me the person I am today.

Happy Teachers Day

Its Teacher's Day today and I take a moment here to express my heartfelt thanks and love to all my teachers right from my kindergarten days to my engineering who have been so wonderful to me all the time and who have a big role to play in whatever I am today.

Happy Teacher's Day :-)

My love-hate affair ;-)

They say, "hair today, gone tomorrow". In many parts of the world, a haircut may not be a big deal. Now I understand why many of the novels and movies show the leading lady heading to a salon to cut and color her locks! A significant change in a lady's hair can not only change how the world looks at her but also how she looks at the world. A cute bouncy bob might suggest a cheerful, casual personality, a very stylish and sophisticated cut might suggest she means business and you're not supposed to mess with her :-P and a long, well-cared for locks might suggest a personality with loads of patience ;-)

I've always had a love-hate affair with my hair. Due to certain rules at school we had to wear uniform and braid our hair. That's the only time I remember begging my mother to braid them. Otherwise, right from my childhood I've never really felt any great affection for my hair and always preferred it short much to the dismay of my mother. Caring for my once long hair (I braided it everyday from class 7th to class 10th and that's the only time I remember having hip-length long locks. The only other time was during my engineering days when ragging in our hostels meant we weren't allowed to chop 'em off!) was time consuming and drying it took almost half a day! It was heavy against the neck in summers and in winters it itched! So it was then I decided that it was time for us to part ways. Its another story that I had to listen to my mom's non-stop scolding sessions for about a week! But which style I wanted, I didn't know and didn't really care. So, I went to this Anglo-Indian lady who had a salon at her home and asked her to take it all away. Half way through the haircut, my eyes started welling up and she waited for them to subside enough to finish her job! For a moment there, I even thought of asking her to sweep up all the clipped hair and put it all back!!

Then came my cousin's wedding and everyone was so excited about wearing the traditional sarees and matching gold jewellery and really dressing up for the occasion. Most of the long distance phone conversations were filled with how they couldn't find matching bangles for a particular colored saree or how they were going to try this new hairstyle which was popular in some blockbuster movie at that time etc etc. The more I listened to the conversation, the more my mother's words echoed in my ears - "All Indian girls have long hair except you" :-(

Despite my very nauseating fears, the whole wedding process was exciting. The application of Mehndi (Henna) in various designs on our hands (I had orange hands for about a month and orange nails for about two months!), teasing my cousin, running here and there for no reason etc. On the day of the wedding, everything was exciting until the make-up woman came. After getting dressed in a very nice traditional outfit my mom had picked out for me, I tugged at my hair consciously trying not to worry. After all, the make up lady would know how to deal with it right? Wrong! She did all sorts of hairstyles for the other cousins who had long or manageable hair and finally when it was my turn to get transformed, she had dismay written all over her face in bold letters! She just left me there saying nothing could be done with my just-above-shoulder length hair! When everyone finally left the room after passing sympathetic glances at my direction, I started by curling my hair a little at the bottom and using some nice pins to set them in a particular style which I considered 'okay'. I just slumped in the chair thinking I was at my worst. But everyone said I looked sophisticated and different! Wow, I thought happily. Different is just me!!

Since then, I've grown my hair long enough to be three-four inches below my shoulders and then chop them off half a dozen times. I even contemplated having a new hair style once but never got myself to it. It is definitely still a love-hate relationship. Now, at twenty seven, I wear it just below my shoulders. It has a slightly wavy feel to it sometimes and is my natural black. Now, that's completely me and I am happy :-)

Facing the reality

35% stuff never happens because anxiety is the result of a tired and not confident mind.
30% stuff belongs to the past and it cannot be altered.
17% stuff is criticism which is mostly untrue and made by people who feel inferior.
10% stuff is related to health which worsens if you feel the heat and worry.
ONLY 8% stuff is legitimate in life and has to be met head on after getting rid of the above senseless worries.


Life knocks you down pretty hard. But you can choose whether or not to get back up and fight.

The real secret :-P

About to have my lunch and that's when I realized this.

The real secret to attract all the positive good stuff from the universe??

Be negative!!

It's science people!! :-)

The ABCD effect

You might be wondering, what's with the weird title! Well, its something I happened to discover during our Digital Signal Processing classes in my engineering days. This effect is actually applicable to most of the subjects right from our kindergarten. Let me give you an example to explain what I mean. The name came up from the very same analogy. This effect shows itself in two ways -


Consider a student of class-1 who missed the whole of his kindergarten classes. What I mean is that he has no idea what ABCD...Z is and doesn't even know how to write it. For such a kid, when a teacher writes "CAT", its the same effect as looking at a person drawing a mountain or a hill. For the kid, there's a curve and a few straight lines joined together on the black board. All he can do is take it down, as it is ,and call it "C-A-T" as he's told. This is how I used to understand DSP in my engineering days! For all I knew, X[k] looked good and surprisingly was totally different from x[k] or X(k). So I just took it down and accepted it as was given and called it as Fourier series or transform or something like that!!


Now consider another student of the same class who attended all his kindergarten classes but didn't understand a thing of what was happening. What I mean is that if he sees "CAT", he knows there's a "C"(see) , an "A"(aay) and a "T" (tee). But frustratingly for the kid, the teacher keeps calling it "CAT" when all he can see is "SeeAayTee". And when asked to spell out "BAT" he can find no letter from A-Z which can make it sound like that. Similarly in DSP, even when I understood the meaning of X[k],X(k) or x[k], I had no idea what the heck it was useful for or what could I possibly do with it!!


Then again, there are the perfect students who know their ABCD's , know how it varies and exactly how and where its used. Similarly, there were people in my class who understood DSP very well in those days!!


Since, if you miss anything in kindergarten you don't understand most of Class 1, and so on to Class 2 etc., it can be seen from Mathematical Induction (which I picked up from one of those classes on the way here), that whatever you miss in Class N, is directly the effect of your non-attentiveness in Class M (M<=N).


Anyway, cutting the crap, ABCD effect helped me classify most students in my class during those days...If you manage to classify any other group do let me know so as to expand the ABCD effect :-)

Weird world

I just thought I'd drop in a few lines about some things that run through my mind but which don't make any sense or are just not worth bothering.

If I were in your shoes/place - We all must have come across this situation at one point or the other where we are in a predicament or in the middle of a problem or more precisely where we are in deep sh#* and wondering what to do next or how to deal with it, when someone comes over and says in a deep voice "hey...if I were in your place...". Here you are trying so hard to deal with an issue of your own and you have to add to it someone else's imaginary problems? All these "if's" are a whole lot of imaginary scenarios which tend to give the person never dreamt of powers. If a person is looking for a chance to boost his/her ego then I let them do it and later pray that the person is never in my shoes. But if you are a sadist, then pray that the person is in your shoes! Look at it this way - if the "if" made any sense then I'd just walk over to my boss and say "hey...if I were in your shoes/place, I'd give myself a raise" :-) But, funnily enough, things don't work this way.

Assumptions - Funnily enough again, people are born with these. Positive assumptions are always great as they keep you boosted for no particular reason. Then again, negative assumptions are also fine until they become a surety because then they are not assumptions anymore and a fact is rather difficult to handle. Its more like - a baby assumes he is giving us a fun time, a kindergarten kid assumes he is the smartest guy around, a high school kid assumes he is the coolest guy around and understands everything, a college guy thinks pretty much the same plus that he knows what he wants in life. I haven't gotten very far past that point myself even though I am older than a college going kid ;-) So, if I were to update this post in say 15 years from now, then I'd be able to fill out the rest of the human cycle. The thing is that there is no point being bothered about assumptions....and I am just assuming that all this made sense :-)

Selflessness - Ah, this is what I find very funny sometimes. I have felt many a times that there is not one person in the world who has done anything without having their own interest in mind except for our parents. I know that you can quote hundreds of instances of selfless acts by people, by famous personalities. But there are several ways to break it down so that it shows the selfish nature of humanity. Even leaders of mass organizations are in effect working for personal gain. Agreed that other people gain by it too. But that is where I draw the line between the word definition of selfishness and my definition of selfishness.

Frankly, I am totally out of ideas for a post. If I were in your shoes, I'd just read all my older posts, but then again.... :-)

I just noticed that this is my 100th post (and obviously my worst post ever) and its been more than a year since I started writing this blog...Whoa! Can't believe its been this long!! Heartfelt thanks to all the folks who are still reading this blog and also to the new ones out there...Again, I am assuming that I have readers :-P

The way of the Mallu ;-) :-P

Our population seems to be on a constant rise and so is the probability of bumping into a malayalee (mallu for short). It is not the number that amazes me time and again but the wide distribution of the clan. Of course if you want to find a mallu, the ideal search locations would be every nook and corner of all the 14 districts of the mother-ship called "Kerala" and its counterpart "the Gelff" (The gulf countries, 6 in number i.e. UAE, Oman, Bahrain, Qatar, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait are pronounced by a typical mallu this way!).

It is a well known fact that a non-mallu would be glad not to meet one while walking miles away from the roads of the aforementioned places for some peace of mind. But the theory of inevitability states that if you are on earth and minding your own business then you are bound to bump into a mallu!

How to identify a mallu?

• One of the simplest ways of identifying is to talk to the person. There is this classic touch mallus give to their pronunciation of English words. Simply becomes Simbly, Example becomes Examble, Complicated becomes Comblicated etc. etc.
• The major ingredient of their food is 'coconut'.
• Another method of identification is a unique clothing style called a "lungi" (which most people use these days) or their formal counterpart the "mundu". In general both can be defined as a lengthy piece of cloth hanging from the waist to the ankles which can also be folded up in times of aggression or when the person needs a casual "airy" look/feel ;-) Differentiating a lungi from a mundu is just the matter of identifying the various colors of lungi formed in a pattern that can only be found on Windows Media Player Visualizations! 
• But if you think there's no lungi and his/her word pronunciation system is flawless then what? Then get the person to meet another mallu. This is how the conversation goes between them...

          Mallu - 1: Hi, I'm from Kerala

          Mallu - 2: Ohh, evidenna (where from?)

          Mallu - 1: Ohh, malayalee analle. Njan Kochi, evidenna? (Ohh, you're a malayalee huh? I'm from Kochi and you?)

Its as if neither of them would have peace until they assure each other they are not neighbours (And mind you, neighbour means anyone within 30kms of their home town!) or long lost brothers and at the same time recall which of their mother's uncles's brother-in-law's friend is working in the same place!! Its more like where there is land, there is a malayalee and no place, work or title is left unexplored!

Well, no offense meant to the malayalee folks out there. I am a malayalee myself by birth with the advantage of having lived in numerous states of India including Kerala and countries abroad. This was just a general observation which I've always wanted to pen down :-)

Oh My God!

I don't usually write about too many too serious things in life. There are certain things you cannot be funny about like poverty, patriotism, ethics or the reason behind this write up - faith. I am not talking about questions like 'Does God really exist' or 'What is the meaning of life'. Neither am I searching for God here in this blog space.


Born in a South Indian Iyer family, I have always been taught to pray, to say prayers everyday, to visit temples every now and then, to give offerings to God etc. I guess everyone does these. My mother does pooja everyday and I have grown up watching her doing that. I too visit the temples once in a while. There was a point in my life when I used to visit the 'Panchamukhi Hanuman' temple daily at 7.00 am just before getting into my office bus. But lately, somewhere down the lane, I seem to have lost it (after all the experiences in my life and more so after the sudden death of my Dad). I just can’t seem to get myself to visit the temples regularly or pray wholeheartedly these days.


The only time I come close to praying wholeheartedly is whenever I visit the Ettumanoor Mahadeva temple in my hometown, standing in front of Lord Shiva (The only other time I came close to praying was at the Samadhi of Shirdi Sai Baba in Shirdi recently). I kept looking at the statue and the amazing calmness and aura that was exuberating from the deity. Later, as I sat outside the temple, I saw this old man, who could hardly walk, going around the temple saying his prayers. He had a walking stick in his hand and was moving at a pace at which even snails could beat him. But still he went around not resting even a bit. But as I saw the old man disappear, the question kept popping up in my mind on the amount of faith that he had in the whole ritual. Most of us have rituals of our own to build on our faiths on our respective Gods. After watching that old man that day, I have been forcing myself to pray for a while now.


I look around in temples and see people making huge amount of money as offerings. I sometimes find it difficult to comprehend the fact that good things will occur to me if I get a darshan of one God. I was having these mixed thoughts and trying to restore my old rapport with the God, when someone nearby was talking about this particular temple in Hyderabad which is called the 'Visa temple' (Chilkur Balaji Temple). People who want to go abroad, go there, pray and they get their visas stamped. And there are people who visit certain temples to find their brides/bridegrooms. My aunt called me one of these days and told me she went to this temple about 30 kms away from her home to pray that I get a good life partner! The questions that sometimes pop in my mind are - Would these things appeal to God ? Would He be keeping count of all these things? If I say out some prayer 28 times daily, without even knowing the meaning of it, would I be blessed with all good things in life? And the customs and the rituals which are built on this faith – would I be able to justify them?' I have also asked many friends of mine questions like - ‘What do you pray’, ‘What language do you pray in’,’Is it like a conversation’, just to ascertain that I am normal. I find it selfish and guilty to ask for something to God. And I know I am not the only one who subscribes to this thought.


Many times I have woken up early in the morning for a big day ahead and while getting ready, hear the Suprabhatam/Bhajans etc from the temple nearby. Sometimes it is not the content that strikes me. It is the sweet flow of voice through the air which gives hope for the day ahead, giving positivity to my thoughts. And that is what praying does too, I guess - A positive note to overcome my troubles and a hope of happiness.


Someday, I am sure I will say my prayers by understanding and really meaning them :-)

Amazing caves of Ellora

Over the long weekend I had a chance to visit the amazing Ellora caves as part of a long trip.

The Ellora caves or the Verul Leni as they are known locally are spectacular rock cut caves depicting the Hindu, Buddhist and the Jain faiths, situated in the ancient village of Ellora which is about 30 Kms from Aurangabad in Maharashtra. The coexistence of structures from three different religions serves as a splendid visual representation of the prevalent religious tolerance in India. For this reason and others, the Ellora Caves were designated a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1983 and is known to be the most visited ancient monument in Maharashtra state.

There are 34 caves in total with exquisite sculptures which were carved out of the Charanadri hills (part of the Sahyadri ranges of the Deccan) somewhere between the 6^th and 10^th centuries. It is said that the carving began around 550AD and went on till 1000AD. Auto rickshaws are available to take people from one set of caves to the other as they are situated a bit far from each other. I could cover only about 20 caves in total because of the time crunch and the rain. Access to many part of the caves is restricted due to security and safety issues.

The Buddhist caves, 12 in number (cave-1 to cave-12) are the earliest of these caves dating to around 500AD. They become more and more elaborately decorated as they progress.  Most of these caves except for one Cave-10 were used for study, communal rituals, meditation, as granary or for eating and sleeping.  All these caves have sculptures of seated Buddhas - either holding a lotus or bejeweled or sitting on a throne of sorts. Some caves even had two or three floors but access to these levels was restricted. The pillars are huge and sculpted too.

The Hindu caves, 17 in number (cave-13 to cave-29), have an entirely different style and are said to have been carved between 600AD and 870AD. These caves occupy the central region of the entire cave complex and are grouped around the famous Kailasa Temple (cave-16). The sculptures adorning the walls of these Hindu caves are in complete contrast to the serene and calm Buddhas. They depict events from the Hindu scriptures. All the Hindu caves are dedicated to the Lord Shiva but some caves also have carvings of Vishnu and his various avataars as well.

Ravana trying to lift Mount Kailas with Lord Shiva and Goddess Parvathi still sitting

Lord Shiva marrying Goddess Parvathi with all the Gods showering blessings

The cave-16 is the most beautifully sculpted of all the caves and is the first cave in sight as you enter the Ellora site. It is known to be the largest single excavation in the world. Infact it is not a cave at all but a magnificent temple carved out of solid rock and is said to represent Kailash, the abode of Lord Shiva. Hence the temple is called Kailashnath, Kailash or the Kailasa temple. This temple is a masterpiece in itself and has amazing sculptures, a feat of human genius. This temple is said to have taken 100 years to complete and has some exquisite carvings. Though carved out of a single solid rock, this looks like a free standing structure of typical southern style. The temple exterior has richly carved windows, images of deities from the Hindu scriptures and Mithunas (amorous male and female figures). Most of the deities to the left of the temple entrance are Shaivaites (followers of Lord Shiva) and the deities to the right of the entrance are Vaishnavaites (followers of Lord Vishnu). The courtyard has two huge Dhwajastambas or pillars with the flagstaff and a Nandi mandapa. The temple is two storeyed and the Kailasa temple is on the first level. The lower storey has life size elephants carved which look like they are holding up the temple on their backs.

Cave-16, The Kailasa Temple

Of all the other Hindu caves stretching to the north of cave-16, I found cave-21 called the Rameshwara interesting. It dates to the late 500s and said to be the oldest Hindu cave. It has some fine sculptures of the two main Hindu river goddesses Ganga and Yamuna, two huge door guardians and some sculptures of Mithunas on the balcony walls.

The Jain caves, 5 in number, dating from late 800s and 900s reflect the distinct Jain philosophy and tradition combined with elaborate decorations. They are not as large as the other caves but contain detailed paintings on the ceilings, fragments of which still are visible. I found cave-32 or the Indra Sabha (Lord Indra’s assembly) interesting amongst the Jain caves. The cave has two levels. The bottom level is plain but the upper level has elaborate carvings. There is a fine lotus flower on the ceiling. Two Thirthankaras guard the entrance to the central shrine. To the right is the Gomateshwara who is meditating so deeply in a forest that vines have grown up his legs and animals, snakes and scorpions crawl at his feet.

Lotus carving at the central shrine

Gomateshwara in deep meditation with the forest vines on his legs

The visit to these caves can be enjoyed to the maximum during monsoons when every stream is filled with water and Mother Nature is in full bloom. The Elaganga, the most prominent of the streams is part of the river Godavari. It is in full vigour during the monsoons and the overflowing waters land at the “Sita-ki-nahani” near cave-29.

Waters of the Elaganga flowing into the Sita-ki-nahani near cave-29

It was a really amazing experience but it was disheartening to see that most of the caves were in poor condition as far as maintaining and preserving the sculptures is concerned. Most of the smaller shrines around the Kailasa were empty and many sculptures look ruined. Most of the caves have a bad odour when you enter them because of the bats hanging from the roof of the cave. But thankfully people have not littered the caves or the surroundings and hence it looks neat with Mother Nature forming a lush green background.

Bats hanging on the ceilings

Who are we?

Over the weekend I was searching for long lost contacts. For people I shared incidents in my life with 15-16 years ago, the people with whom I grew up. But regardless of the extensive social networks, I was unable to locate many of them.

Well, the fault isn't completely on those addictive time-consumers because it really is very hard to remember the full names from that age! And add to that the extensive collection of Indian names with their multitude of possible combinations along with minor variations like the addition of an “h”, removal of an “a” or sometimes a completely different spelling they would have assumed for use on these social media and you have a huge list to dig through. Ask me, I know how it feels to have spelt your name in a particular way your whole school life only to find it spelt in an entirely different way on the certificate finally!! And, of course even if I get a name right, identification based on their facial features would be a near impossibility as I have practically no clue what they would have changed into now. And let’s not forget the distractions posed by the empty pangs of hope that “that particular profile pic could be my friend or I wish it is. Maybe I should drop a message and find out. If not the old one, a new friend made!”.

The final outcome here is that I didn’t make any new friends today nor did I find the old ones. But it made me wonder about the people who were around us and the people who may or may not be around us in the future. In effect it made me think about how we are and what we are.

I know I know...I sound like I just turned 70 ;-)

The fact is that who we are is basically a culmination of all the incidents in our life - both big and small - over a period of time. The incidents can be as big as loosing a parent or as small as choosing where to sit in a crowded place. The same incidents can have completely different effects on different people. How that incident impacts a person depends on how that person assimilates it or may be on the events that might have happened before this incident. Somehow, at a particular point, the past adds up to help read the present and thus define the future.

As I type this, I wonder how big these changes in a person could be as compared to them 15-16 years ago!! May be a change that impacts who we are, how we think or how we react in the present days as compared to so many years ago might require more hard work to understand and to break open the base that was created such a long time ago!

Every person is right and wrong depending on the way he/she reacts to a particular incident. What is it that defines how a person is supposed to be? Would we ever want to change who we are?? Would you be OK with a person who tries to change you from what you already are to someone he/she wants you to be??

Celebrating friendship

International Friendship Day is celebrated on the first Sunday of August every year in many parts of the world. I am a person who believes that friends are forever and should be celebrated throughout the year and not just on a particular day.

The most memorable people in my life have been the one's who loved me when I was not so lovable. Such special people and the relations are hard to find. They are rare and one of a kind. I don't care that I have very few such special people in my life. But I am damn proud that I have the best of the lot :-)

Happy friendship forever. Love you all loads :-)

2000 worth of crap!!

A while ago, I was going through some old receipts and found a bill for Rs. 2000

Description on the bill - "Crap"

I have bought a lot of crap I'm sure, but, never has a bill said "Crap" on my face!!

Turned out to be a bill for a "Crepe Saree" I bought for mom last month.

Sigh...

High level summary...

Most 'managers' like to deal with high level information. I honestly feel that's a very foolish way of working. Here is a symbolic example of how its so so wrong.


Say, there is a report that describes what a great player Sachin Tendulkar is. The summary or the high level information here is that 'Sachin is a great player!' So what does the manager do? He puts Sachin in a Football field and says 'Go on my boy, I heard you are a great player. Go play!'


So, in such a situation Sachin fumbles. Thinking he's got to get out of the situation, he tries getting on with the game. In the end, Sachin gets kicked out cause he couldn't kick.


Well, you would say good for him. Now he can get back to cricket. Right? Wrong!


Now, his track record according to the manager says, 'Pathetic player. Got kicked out'. No other manager is interested in him because they all will look at this new high level summary. They will show him the door, totally unaware of what they are missing out on and depriving the sports world of!!!!!


What a waste!!!

Post-lunch entertainment

Well, this incident happened a long time ago at my office. One afternoon, I opened my eyes after a short 10 minute post-lunch nap and saw this 'cubicle mate'  X rubbing something on his throat...

Me: Is that Iodex??
X(Grinning): Yeah....
Me: Why? Why are you rubbing Iodex on your throat?
X: Isn't it obvious? Throat ache!! (sniff sniff)
Me: What the *&#@%

How do you feel when things come back and bite you in the butt??

Well, that's what happened to X that day. X spends a good part of his office hours analyzing the 'Cultural impacts of facebook on Indian society' and 'Role of Gmail chat in the modern day socio-economic affairs'. Spam forwards are his specialty. He has this nutty one  in which, by typing in your name in an excel sheet program-of-sorts, it returns the profession destined for you by the stars(LOL). He started off by punching in my name. 'Lakshmi' returned an opinion that I was fit for a career as 'Satan'. No kidding, that’s what it said! But by the grace of God (no pun intended), my name is spelt 'Laxmy'(I remembered my Anglo Indian teacher who thought my name sounded cool spelt this way), and this name returned that I would be a ‘Chef’ or a ‘Neurologist’. Well, maybe I’d be cooking dinosaurs!! Anyway, I thought these were pretty decent professions. X typed in his full name and was delighted to find ‘Supermodel’ lighting up the screen. For the next sixty seconds it was like someone took a bicycle pump and super-inflated his ego. So he decided to call everyone and let them know that he’s destined to be a supermodel. He gathered a sizeable crowd including the all-necessary female population. But this time (underestimating the hidden functionalities of the program), typed in just his first name.

He turned red and crimson alternately as the excel sheet returned 'Anywhere where you can kiss ass…'

I love when life comes and bites you in the butt...such entertainment :-) ;-) :-P