I don't usually write about too many too serious things in life. There are certain things you cannot be funny about like poverty, patriotism, ethics or the reason behind this write up - faith. I am not talking about questions like 'Does God really exist' or 'What is the meaning of life'. Neither am I searching for God here in this blog space.
Born in a South Indian Iyer family, I have always been taught to pray, to say prayers everyday, to visit temples every now and then, to give offerings to God etc. I guess everyone does these. My mother does pooja everyday and I have grown up watching her doing that. I too visit the temples once in a while. There was a point in my life when I used to visit the 'Panchamukhi Hanuman' temple daily at 7.00 am just before getting into my office bus. But lately, somewhere down the lane, I seem to have lost it (after all the experiences in my life and more so after the sudden death of my Dad). I just can’t seem to get myself to visit the temples regularly or pray wholeheartedly these days.
The only time I come close to praying wholeheartedly is whenever I visit the Ettumanoor Mahadeva temple in my hometown, standing in front of Lord Shiva (The only other time I came close to praying was at the Samadhi of Shirdi Sai Baba in Shirdi recently). I kept looking at the statue and the amazing calmness and aura that was exuberating from the deity. Later, as I sat outside the temple, I saw this old man, who could hardly walk, going around the temple saying his prayers. He had a walking stick in his hand and was moving at a pace at which even snails could beat him. But still he went around not resting even a bit. But as I saw the old man disappear, the question kept popping up in my mind on the amount of faith that he had in the whole ritual. Most of us have rituals of our own to build on our faiths on our respective Gods. After watching that old man that day, I have been forcing myself to pray for a while now.
I look around in temples and see people making huge amount of money as offerings. I sometimes find it difficult to comprehend the fact that good things will occur to me if I get a darshan of one God. I was having these mixed thoughts and trying to restore my old rapport with the God, when someone nearby was talking about this particular temple in Hyderabad which is called the 'Visa temple' (Chilkur Balaji Temple). People who want to go abroad, go there, pray and they get their visas stamped. And there are people who visit certain temples to find their brides/bridegrooms. My aunt called me one of these days and told me she went to this temple about 30 kms away from her home to pray that I get a good life partner! The questions that sometimes pop in my mind are - Would these things appeal to God ? Would He be keeping count of all these things? If I say out some prayer 28 times daily, without even knowing the meaning of it, would I be blessed with all good things in life? And the customs and the rituals which are built on this faith – would I be able to justify them?' I have also asked many friends of mine questions like - ‘What do you pray’, ‘What language do you pray in’,’Is it like a conversation’, just to ascertain that I am normal. I find it selfish and guilty to ask for something to God. And I know I am not the only one who subscribes to this thought.
Many times I have woken up early in the morning for a big day ahead and while getting ready, hear the Suprabhatam/Bhajans etc from the temple nearby. Sometimes it is not the content that strikes me. It is the sweet flow of voice through the air which gives hope for the day ahead, giving positivity to my thoughts. And that is what praying does too, I guess - A positive note to overcome my troubles and a hope of happiness.
Someday, I am sure I will say my prayers by understanding and really meaning them :-)
Born in a South Indian Iyer family, I have always been taught to pray, to say prayers everyday, to visit temples every now and then, to give offerings to God etc. I guess everyone does these. My mother does pooja everyday and I have grown up watching her doing that. I too visit the temples once in a while. There was a point in my life when I used to visit the 'Panchamukhi Hanuman' temple daily at 7.00 am just before getting into my office bus. But lately, somewhere down the lane, I seem to have lost it (after all the experiences in my life and more so after the sudden death of my Dad). I just can’t seem to get myself to visit the temples regularly or pray wholeheartedly these days.
The only time I come close to praying wholeheartedly is whenever I visit the Ettumanoor Mahadeva temple in my hometown, standing in front of Lord Shiva (The only other time I came close to praying was at the Samadhi of Shirdi Sai Baba in Shirdi recently). I kept looking at the statue and the amazing calmness and aura that was exuberating from the deity. Later, as I sat outside the temple, I saw this old man, who could hardly walk, going around the temple saying his prayers. He had a walking stick in his hand and was moving at a pace at which even snails could beat him. But still he went around not resting even a bit. But as I saw the old man disappear, the question kept popping up in my mind on the amount of faith that he had in the whole ritual. Most of us have rituals of our own to build on our faiths on our respective Gods. After watching that old man that day, I have been forcing myself to pray for a while now.
I look around in temples and see people making huge amount of money as offerings. I sometimes find it difficult to comprehend the fact that good things will occur to me if I get a darshan of one God. I was having these mixed thoughts and trying to restore my old rapport with the God, when someone nearby was talking about this particular temple in Hyderabad which is called the 'Visa temple' (Chilkur Balaji Temple). People who want to go abroad, go there, pray and they get their visas stamped. And there are people who visit certain temples to find their brides/bridegrooms. My aunt called me one of these days and told me she went to this temple about 30 kms away from her home to pray that I get a good life partner! The questions that sometimes pop in my mind are - Would these things appeal to God ? Would He be keeping count of all these things? If I say out some prayer 28 times daily, without even knowing the meaning of it, would I be blessed with all good things in life? And the customs and the rituals which are built on this faith – would I be able to justify them?' I have also asked many friends of mine questions like - ‘What do you pray’, ‘What language do you pray in’,’Is it like a conversation’, just to ascertain that I am normal. I find it selfish and guilty to ask for something to God. And I know I am not the only one who subscribes to this thought.
Many times I have woken up early in the morning for a big day ahead and while getting ready, hear the Suprabhatam/Bhajans etc from the temple nearby. Sometimes it is not the content that strikes me. It is the sweet flow of voice through the air which gives hope for the day ahead, giving positivity to my thoughts. And that is what praying does too, I guess - A positive note to overcome my troubles and a hope of happiness.
Someday, I am sure I will say my prayers by understanding and really meaning them :-)
4 comments:
U r right without knowing the meaning of the manthras we r chanting blindly.
I completely agree with u... Many times have myself felt wht's the point in saying those prayers when I don't understand wht they mean and thts when I started to see if I cld get someone to explain them to me and I must say fairly enough I feel satisfied when I chant them now...I don't know about worshipping idols or believing in some form ..I believe there is definately some unknow power in the universe and tht calms me in a way to believe in the exsistance of tht unknown ..I fel it very strange when I see ppl going to temples only on particular days, giving offerings to God..Have always wondered like you would God really want something like that ..I mean its alomst like bribing him for something..
Laxmy,I used to visit temple every saturday, pray at home everyday and when ever i get time during weekdays i used to visit temple and made my wishes to the GOD. After some days, i got an idea to attend poojas. Then I started attending poojas, every weekend...last week I was in the temple when the poojari performed archana for GANESH, BALAJI and MAHALAKSHMI..i was in the pooja all the time and i could not understand even one mantra. After the pooja I realized that I need to understand the meaning of each mantra so that it makes sense to chant them and I am in the process of understanding the mantras.Let me c how much I can understand the mantras.
I agree with you that we need to understand the meaning of each mantra that we chant so that its more sense for us.
Thank you Anjali and Swaroop for taking time to read and comment. I knew I was not the only one to subscribe to this train of thought :)
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