Happy new year

I don't believe in making new year resolutions. Resolutions which last what...a week?  Well..that being said, all I want on the new year and throughout is for everyone to realize what it takes to be human, get some peace of mind and also loads of happiness and sweet surprises.

Happy new year everyone :)

Merry Christmas

The best in the world

As the hours slowly fall into nothingness, I contemplate on all the sacrifices, all that they had to go through to mold a son and daughter to become the best persons they ever could be.

I hope we carry our parents's name with pride and honor. Thank you for everything. We couldn't have asked for anything better.

You're THE BEST PARENTS in the whole world.

Oh...cut the crap!!

Well....that's exactly what we all keep doing at the work place....

Cut the crap (Ctrl X)

Paste the crap (Ctrl V)

and sometimes even Copy it (Ctrl C)!!!!!

Brainless!

Today was easily one of the bad days...everything I did, all the hardwork....it just wasn't working!!

I'm glad I made it through the day without kicking anyone ;)

Hope for a better tomorrow...

Emotions!

Its been 4 years today!! Indeed time just flies!

With every year that passes, I continue to learn how wise each of my dad's words were! I miss him so much and think of him everyday. Am sure he will still be thinking of me from somewhere up there...

Love you loads Appa. Missing you ever so badly....

What's my destiny?

This question has been haunting me ever since I had this casual chat with a colleague of mine yesterday about childhood dreams, how good we were in everything and how things have changed drastically once we started working.

Remember, when as children, someone would ask us what we wanted to be when we grew up and we'd give answers like "scientist, astronaut, IAS officer etc."? People would admire you but wouldn't take it seriously. Why were these fantasies dismissed as the ramblings of one who did not know what they were talking about? I feel that, as we grow up, we begin to limit ourselves to focusing so much on a rut-filled routine life that we forget that we are not a mere 9-to-5 job, that we still have infinite possibilities around us. In school and college, most of us, including myself, handled academics, extra-curricular activities, sports and then some more with equal panache. Then what is stopping us now from going beyond it? The burden of age? Extra responsibilities? Lack of time? I feel the culprit is our laziness....the thought of postponing everything to the next day...

I stepped outside my comfort zone and explored public speaking, debates etc. whilst in school. Then after college, I took up Engineering and then moved to a very uncertain, volatile profession. Within this, I moved from what I knew I was really really good at to something I took a risk with. There is so much to do yet, and I'm no celebrity. There are people who've done much better and bigger things and they are like beacons of inspiration for me. They show me that if I will it, it will definitely happen. 

I know that all of this might sound pretty fantastic in writing, but the fact is that....it is indeed fantastic! I am told that it's not easy at all, but its not impossible either. So, I think...when has anything easy ever been fun??

I remember dreaming big as a kid. As a child, it wasn't about riches or success.My initial dreams were colorful like most movies - no story to speak of but with lush, open, gigantic spaces which you could drink eyefuls of. I interpret that as the freedom of my mind which is willing to explore. That has been primarily responsible for my exploring new avenues in spite of being settled and really good in what I initially was.

I want to be a woman who never stops dreaming. As they say....you are never too old to dream big and make it happen.

The joy of cutting onions

A very famous cook who really loved what he did was crying while cutting something. Seeing this, his friend asked him:

Friend: What's wrong buddy? Why are you crying?

Cook: Oh, nothing my friend. These are my tears of joy!

Friend: Oh! That's um nice! By the way, what kind of joy are we talking about?

Cook: The joy of cutting onions, ofcourse!

Well folks, a silly little joke which you can be rest assured I made up while cutting onions today :-)

This reminded me of a funny little story I heard in my childhood about why we cry while cutting onions. This is how it goes...

Long long ago, there were two best friends - An Onion and a Tomato. Every time someone came to the grocer to buy vegetables, these two used to hide somewhere in a corner so as not to get caught. Suddenly one day, someone bought this Tomato along with the other veggies. While bidding his farewell to his best friend, the Onion started crying. For many days he felt very lonely. Then a thought flashed - What will happen when someone buys me too or when I die? Who will cry for me? I am so lonely without my friend Tomato!!!

This was the time God granted him a boon - "My dear Onion, don't you worry...when you die...the whole world will cry"!!!!

And then....the rest....as they say....is history :-)

The Key to everything...

He is a Don...
He is the Key to everything....
So....does that mean....he is a DonKey???

What the heck!!

Family gatherings

I think the whole idea behind family gatherings, of getting in touch with cousins and elders is a very cool idea....in principle that is! That being said, I'm quite sure that I miss half of what goes on at get-togethers, because while the male relatives say hello, how are you, sit down, and stay relatively silent, the women in the house, especially the elders.....well, what can I say!!

With the women in the family....there's always a constant torrent of noise (No disrespect to the women folk though...just my observations). Every female relative in a family gathering insists on dissecting things in minute detail afterwards so that car rides are filled with "Can you believe she said that?", "Why did he say that?" or "Why don't they remember what happened?"

The male cousins just tend to sit in a sort of silence. Any topic brought out is met with either agreement, a polite surprise or inquiry or occasionally a fascinated discussion. And just like it started, the conversations just fade to an acceptable relaxed level. Most of the times, the male cousins are not great conversationalists.  But the women in the family....I figure they are all significantly more vociferous. The male cousins keep chatting in a low simmer and the women most times keep yapping it up in the next room. But sometimes even this yapping is very very amusing :) You feel some kind of void if the noise is not there!

It all starts when we're all around a table, sharing food and talking. This is exactly when the really awkward questions start - "When are you getting married dear?", "How's that new job of yours?", "Why don't we get to see you more often?" etc. etc... Judgement is such an ugly phenomenon when it comes from relatives, isn't it?

If you haven't experienced this yet or are puzzled about what I'm talking...may be you will experience it too...in time. I'm not exactly sure how or why it happens, but it does...all the time!!! Which is why I sneak out of the room when such topics arise and always find the most comfortable place in the house to close my eyes and sleep when I can't add anything to such conversations. 

I always feel that there needs to be some sort of bluetooth-based messaging system or something of that sort for people like me around a table...people who have cellphones and want to message or communicate something to each other without texting so that we can keep ourselves occupied in-between awkward questions, the cheesy family jokes, and unrelated conversations...

Now that this is out of my system...I'm gonna move on and listen to some feet tapping numbers...Highly recommended :)

Cultured?

They say Humans are cultured...
Ha!!
So are bacteria!!!!

Higher and Iyer

I have no clue what it is about skyscrapers and tall marvelous architectures that fascinates me so much.



To begin with, it makes me proud to be sharing my planet with people who can build such marvelous things. I haven’t lived in the time of pyramids, but I have definitely lived in the time of Olympiaturm, Burj Khalifa, Petronas etc. Not bad, eh?

They tell me what a long way I have to go, and that there’s room for so much more. I am still at the ground floor. It makes me think how peaceful (lonely perhaps?) it would be up there. I may love the madness down here, but at the end, when I retire for the night, I would want to be somewhere up there.

It makes me think of the view from up there. A privileged view for a privileged few. If I ever happen to own a home up there somewhere, I would get up every morning, and take a picture from my window. A decade down the line, I could make a motion picture of the city’s changing skyline. Now wouldn’t that be something? :-)

Alive again

What one writes reflects their inner state of mind and mine had been pretty muddled for the past couple of weeks. I had not been able to be my quintessential happy-go-lucky girl then. But I believe I have learnt how to take most things with a pinch of salt now. Otherwise it would pinch the people around me in a nasty manner beyond description.

Perhaps the song "kahaan chali gayi hai saali khushi" (where has the bloody happiness gone?) from the movie "Dev-D" best described my predicament. I even thought something was wrong!! Silly me!!!

Even though I could not put my finger on the reason for my restlessness, I did realize that I needed to relax, have time for myself, ask myself some questions and at the same time count my blessings.

Having done that over the weekend, I feel alive again :-)

So much to play and so little time

I was thinking about the new addition to our family and was smiling to myself when I remembered my conversation with my niece, my cousin's adorable daughter the last time I visited their place at my native.

Me: Hey sweetheart, what are you doing?

My niece: I am bored and I want to play!

Me: Alright, that sounds like fun! Let's play!

My niece:  But I can't play!

Me: Why not???

My niece:  I have so many toys, but I don't know what to play with!

Me: Pick your favorite toy and we will play with that!

My niece:  But all of them are my favorite!

Me: Then close your eyes and just pick one toy and we will play.

My niece:   If I close my eyes, then how will I pick something without seeing it? You are not helping me at all and confusing me even more!

Me: *stunned silence*

My niece:   There is so much to play and so little time!

Aaaaaah.....I would do anything to be a little kid again, where the only worry in the world is not being able to decide what to play! :) :) :)

The stinking truth?

Last Friday I reached my office campus early so as to be done with my work equally early in the evening. Normally I use the stairs, but I don't know what got into me, I rushed into the elevator and found myself standing beside 3 other people.

Now, I don't know what am I supposed to make of it. The moment I got into the elevator, all three walked out!!

The only possible reasons I can think of - all three coincidentally forgot to have their breakfast and probably were rushing to the cafeteria or I need to consider a change of my deo brand!!

Let me just assume that it was the former and get on with my life ;-)

Confessions!

I've been fiddling with a lot of ideas for a while now but none of them materialized into blog posts so far.

No, I don't want to write about the always-barking dog from the second floor of our apartment or drone about the miseries at my new work place. Yeah, Facebook went public yesterday though its not making a hell of a difference in my life. And when politics is not exactly your favorite topics, do the mango people really care about anything else? Not sure!

Well, jokes apart, the only word to describe my predicament right now is "stuck". Stuck may be because I am too contended with what I am doing or may be because I don't want to move out of my comfort zone. Unless I crawl out of this comfort zone, there is very little chance to do anything outstanding. This is similar to the way I've been treating this space. I almost always write when I feel good or when there is a steady inflow of thoughts and mostly when it suits me. And I don't push myself or challenge my limits.

I am stuck. All I need is a stinging motivation, a burning ambition that will not let me sleep. That's the only way to crawl out of this rut.

Amma and me :)

Today on Mother's Day, I felt as if I haven't done anything for her all these years. But then it struck me that whatever I do for her, it would be nothing, simply nothing when compared to the love she showers on me each and every moment!

Growing up, I was always my daddy's girl and was scared of my mom. Needless to say, I miss my dad a lot. I am more attached to my mom now. I know she loves me so much (even though I get scolded by her at least 20 times a day) and wants me to be ME despite everything. I want to be so much like her, but deep down I don't think I can be as awesome as she is. She is truly a gem of a person and I am super lucky to have her in my life.

Love you Amma :-)

Love you Amma

What do you really need?

We want so many things in life - a luxurious villa facing the ocean, a fat six figure salary, a perfect chiseled goddess-like figure and what not!! Sometimes we do get what we want and many times we don't.

In real life, you usually get things which you really really want if you try hard. Sometimes we also have these good-to-have wish list which usually comes into limelight and life changes around and makes you achieve those wishes. In fact, I have felt this. Many times, there are certain things that I want only in my head. Say for example the sexy job of a high flying consultant. But the heart wants something entirely different. Say for example to settle down in my happy sleepy hometown somewhere down the line or be able to spend more time with my family. So, while I keep telling myself that I want the former, I subconsciously desire the latter. And, something that I really want with all my heart is what I unknowingly work for! And trust me, it works!!

Every time I keep sending such confusing signals to my brain. So, how do I decide what I really need? Get a doctor? Stick electrodes to my hair and monitor my brain waves? Many people have told me that it need not be so complicated. When in confusion, all you need to do is to list down the things that are good to have and the things that you emotionally desire. Both these things feel so similar yet are so different that you think you want something but you actually want something entirely different!

And then, may be you can train your mind like a white rat in a lab or those monkeys and parrots you see on the road performing. Then you picture yourself going through the emotions when you achieve what you really want. Can you picture yourself happy and content there? If yes, then probably your heart can be tricked to really want what your brain wants!!

Confused?? I know!! Isn't that how we really are?? Confused, needy and pathetic life forms!! :-)

Alien Attack

Looks like I'm on a dreaming spree these days and that too the strangest of things. I know I said this in my last post Dream On too. I had this dream yesterday and though I haven't recorded all my dreams, I thought I'll type this one as this was a little weird.

It all starts with me and some friends of mine standing in the terrace looking at the stars and constellations (the after effect of watching 'The Wrath of the Titans' I guess) with a huge telescope. Suddenly we spot a car shaped star (I had discussed about Adobe Illustrator with a friend yesterday, who is a Graphic Designer and I was told that a star can be modified into any shape using that software). My friends start jumping and shouting in excitement. We start discussing about that star when suddenly we hear footsteps. Its as if someone is running towards us.

We are all shocked to see the President, Sylvestor Stallone (LOL!! I know I know how it seems now!) walking towards us. He was quite serious when he announced that Aliens are planning to attack Bangalore and that me and my friends have to fight them! We are surprised and tell him that 'we haven't seen any aliens through the telescope. Even if they attack, how will we fight them and how will we defeat them?' He said that he has ordered for some custom made M2 .50 caliber machine guns for this purpose (Rambo??). He said, 'haven't you seen the car shaped star. Haven't you seen any alien movies? Aim for the nose. That is their weak spot. We have to eliminate them fast otherwise they will make us their slaves and rule the world! You are the saviors of the world'. (I don't know in which movie I heard this and I didn't also ask why this job had to be done by us!!!!)

After hours and hours of running, shooting, hiding and again shooting, only me and the main alien are left. The alien had its weapon point blank at my forehead and I had my machine gun on its nose!!!

And then.....BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woke up with the torch in one hand, pillow in the other and very glad to be alive :-)

Happy VISHU

May we all be reminded of all those things that are truly wonderful during this wonderful season of yet another New Year (VISHU) - a time to look forward to peaceful, meaningful, prosperous days ahead.

Wishing you all a wonderful New Year (regional) :-)

April 14, 2012 - Vishukkani @ Home

Just another Monday evening :-)

As I was sitting in the bus on my regular commute, I saw an old ad for some matrimonial above the opposite seat which read something along the lines of "Mr. Right could be sitting beneath this ad".

One look at the supposed Mr. Right beneath the ad and it quickly confirmed everything. Just that I was staring at a middle aged woman, reading a book and frowning at something she read :-)

Blah blah and more blah

Sometimes the ironies of life are such...

When you want a conversation, everyone is busy.

When you want to be left alone, people will come seek you out.

When you want to keep a low profile, what you do becomes everyone else's business.

That's when I decide to rebel...

I keep quiet when I want to speak out. My silence works much better than my outburst.

When I realize I am not strong enough to bend will against instinct, I prefer to stay away from things.

And mostly, I smile when I am at my angriest. The argument ends without any permanent damage because the best fights are the ones we avoid :-)

Common Sense Vs Temper

Sometimes, we all are misunderstood and guess what, at the same damn time too! Be it the misunderstanding between friends, siblings, someone you care about or even colleagues, it affects you somehow. When the day has been long, tiring and anxiety ridden and the night just stretches like elastic with loads of anxious moments, you wonder whether to just snap or ignore. I even wonder why I'm even letting things get to me in the first place!!

I sometimes wonder whether the other person is wondering the exact same thing. When you feel angry enough to not want to speak at all, whether the other person is also debating whether to vent out or not. I always remind myself that and rush forward with the olive branch. And then I get angry when this is met with a Kroor Singh look!

Of course common sense tells me that it works better just to let things be until sanity and peace is restored. But, its so very hard to control yourself till then!

Scratchy notes - 3

I was just playing around with my blog a bit and I found it amusing that many people on this planet searched for the keywords "miss you daddy", "cute iyer girls", "iyer girls musings", "identity crisis", "cartoon dads birthday", "dell e5500" and ended up on my blog. Well, it makes sense because a few of my blog posts from the past contains those keywords or is somehow related to them. The curiously amusing part of it is that some poor souls who searched for "dear god help me please" also ended up here! Now, I am not surprised that there are people who even type such things.

What interests me most is did they find what they were looking for when they ended up on this blog? Well, I tried Googling the exact keywords but my blog didn't turn up in any of the search results. Wondering if the country of residence, browser or the search engine would make any difference!

When I started this blog a year and a half ago, it was merely a space for me to type down my thoughts. Writing helps calm me down and often is a means for me to wander inside my own imagination. I never expected to have an audience, let alone a following! My blog has turned out to be more than what I had meant it to be. Its found people - old friends and even new ones who were strangers before!

So, if any of you happen to type "dear god help me please" and end up reading this post here, I just want to say that - Hey, please do not despair. Everything will be alright. Just because all your prayers weren't answered doesn't mean you are loved any less. God probably might be having a bad day Himself or may be the communication link is broken temporarily :-)

Cheer up and stay happy...

Singing out loud

The best place at home to sing to my heart's content no matter how horribly I sing?? Hands down, its got to be the bathroom :-)

With the intimate comfort of the space, the wonderful sound effects and the warmth/chill of the shower, this is where most people think they can really sing! I am no exception. If you put me in front of 10 people, I might hesitate. But in the bathroom, you hear a different me. This is one place where I find solace.

Sometimes, bathrooms can be quite misleading, having you believe that you are better than you actually are! Just think about it. It makes you think that you are like a frog in the well i.e you are the master of your domain and no one is mightier than you. Also, you are surrounded by people who either love you no matter what because you are the apple of their eyes or loathe you or have something to gain from you or people who have this weird compulsive habit of lying. And these scenarios give you an absolute comfort and a great sense of invincibility.

But if you want to know your true worth, you have to throw yourself out there into the ocean and learn how to swim. Yes it would be foolish not to be prepared for what you undertake. Its always good to realize very soon that a million people would say you are very good but only a select few would be there to point out the mistakes that you make. I think the best thing to do is to listen to all, absorb what is needed and apply only the absolutes.

And while at it, you have to continue singing in the bathroom. Who knows what it might lead you to....may be the country's next singing sensation or may be yet another eureka moment!! :-)

Dream On

I am driving this giant eighteen wheeler along some coastal highway and suddenly a huge ice age mammoth comes flying out of nowhere and slams into my vehicle pushing me hard onto the guardrails just inches from the ocean cliff!! Later I find myself alone in a dense and eerie forest. A giant bear appears out of nowhere and belches a hungry growl just inches from my face!! And as if by some spell, I find myself caught in a tornado and my house is pulled off its foundation and gets thrust in this colorful fantasy land crushing a local witch. There is this adrenaline rush which yells at me to lift the house off the witch!!

Well, it looks like I've been watching too many fantasy adventure movies these days because I woke up to the above weirdest dream and it surprised me that I did remember quite a bit of that. Phew!!

Now, logic tells me that lifting a house is impossible for a single human being with regular human strength. However, I guess the mind is numb and immune to all this logic when it comes to dreams. So, in my dreams, I lift the house off the witch, I punch the bear in its face and also jump out of the sunroof right before my vehicle hits the watery grave!!

P.S -  Punching the bear on its face might hurt your hand after the adrenaline rush has worn off. I was icing my hand right after I woke up because in reality, I had hit the bed board!!! :-)

I am sorry moth

Today evening, as I sat in the balcony reading, the soft lights of the setting sun hit my face and it really felt wonderful sitting there and enjoying like never before.

Suddenly I felt a soft disturbance on my left hand and nonchalantly I flicked it with my other hand. I then saw something which seemed like a golden powder on the spot where I had felt the disturbance. I searched the balcony and found a small moth lying a bit far from where I sat. It lay there a little crippled and I felt really really bad about what I did. That moth could have been me!

I just wanted to write this down in order to lighten myself from what happened. I just hope I didn't damage the moth too much. One wing is very thinned with the loss of the color. The other lush golden wing told me what a proud beauty the damaged wing once was before I hurt it. The moth is still sitting in the balcony quietly. It flutters and jumps whenever I go near it and try to touch it.

I just hope it is able to recover, fly again and live like before. I really did not intend this. I am so sorry moth!!

There's a solution to every problem

My mother narrated this story to me the other day. She explained that every complex situation has a solution and that we should give it a try. Her advice has always helped me face various situations in my life. Hence I decided to share the story here.

Long long ago, in a small Indian village, there lived a farmer and his beautiful daughter. The farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the village moneylender. The moneylender, who was old, ugly and cunning fancied the farmer's daughter and proposed a bargain that the farmer's debt would be forgiven if he married off his daughter to the moneylender. The farmer and his daughter were horrified listening to it. So were the villagers.

Upon this, the cunning moneylender suggested that they would let the divine providence decide their fate.

He suggested that he would put one black pebble and one white pebble into an empty money bag and ask the farmer's daughter to pick one from the bag. If the girl picked a black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. If she picked a white pebble, she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven. But, if she refused to pick a pebble from the bag, her father would be imprisoned for the rest of his life.

So, on the decided day, when everyone was standing on a pebble strewn path and talking about the situation, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. But, the sharp eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles on purpose and put it inside the empty moneybag and then asked the girl to pick one!

Now, imagine if you were the girl, what would you have done? Or if you had to advice the girl, what would you have told her? If you thought carefully, you'd see that there are three possibilities - Refuse to pick a pebble/ Expose the cunning nature of the moneylender by showing the villagers the two black pebbles/ Pick a black pebble and sacrifice her life in order to save her father from debt and imprisonment!

But, this is what the smart girl did -

The girl put her hand in the moneybag, drew out a pebble and without batting an eyelid, fumbled and dropped the pebble on the ground so that it got lost among the other pebbles on the path! Then she carefully said, "Oh, how clumsy of me. Never mind though. If you look at the pebble left in the bag, you'll know which color pebble I had picked".

Since the remaining pebble in the bag was black, everyone assumed she had picked the white one. Since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one without losing hope.

Moral of the story is that every complex situation has a solution. Also, the important thing about a problem is not the solution, but the strength we gain in finding the solution. We just have to keep trying without losing hope and we'll definitely come up with the best possible solution to any problem.

Just another thought...

People close to you let you down sometimes even after all the things you have done for them. I guess, they don't realize it until you stop doing it for them! I wonder, why does this always happen? The only answer I can think of at the moment is that we are humans and nobody is perfect! I know...I know...sounds silly doesn't it?

I guess the only way to avoid disappointments is not to have any kind of expectations from anyone at all. I don't really know if it helps. May be its just another wall we are building? After all, we are humans and there's always this slightest expectation. And lets just say, it was not met. Then, it definitely bothers us isn't it? Then, how do you solve this problem? The problem of not having any expectations at all? To not feel anything so that it wouldn't hurt you? To control your emotions?

Hmm...I have no idea!! I guess this is something to reflect on tonight....

Finally a little relaxed!

Finally feeling relaxed after a long time and really really happy about the results of my exam :) 

Yippeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Deadline!

May be I'm a little stressed right now. I've got my exam coming up in a few days and I don't think I'm anywhere close to being prepared!!!!!

Pressure's on.....Fingers crossed!

Weight and Watch

Picture Courtesy - a friend on facebook :-)

You tend to come up with several such excuses when you just don't want to exercise. It is the most difficult fight you would have had with your mind. Endless arguments as to why you should indeed put so much effort for losing or gaining those extra pounds even though your brain knows that it can only keep you fit and healthy. I am someone who wrestles such issues on a regular basis!


I have come across several people who have donated so much money to different gyms across the country and even outside. It seems the gym owners bank on people like that to run their business. Such people give the machines a run only once in a while and are among the majority. The minority being the ones who are hell bent on artistically shaping their body on the lines of some movie stars. Or the ones who are frantically trying to put down weight as their marriage would be around the corner :-)


I would blame the movie industry completely for making people believe that your body should look like a crafted piece with all the muscles bulging out (for guys), well toned or a size zero (for girls)! But you know what? Those guys are paid to do so!! Now, nobody would pay me even if I were to have a size zero figure next year!! I am paid to sit in office and work my a$$ off, which I do honestly! Once this fact is established, it is a herculean task to make those daily trips to the gym or to the nearby park to exercise. The treadmill and other machines become  the villains in your life. And the twist here is that this villain always wins. You might be able to push this villain down once in a blue moon with the help of Bryan Adams or Linkin Park or A R Rahman songs or when you need some extra encouragement, few dink-chak songs. But usually you fall short.

The most interesting part in gyms is the comparison mode people get into. The usual ones among the female population being "Am I as fat as that girl"?. "I hope I don't end up looking like that aunty/uncle out there"! Some guys I have seen are very much worried about the shape of the curl in their biceps or some girls worried about the shape of their fingers or that perfect curve of their hips! That's when I feel like saying 'get a life people', you are supposed to look healthy and not anorexic! The human body is such an amazing work of craftsmanship. But, the sad truth is that the amount of fat you lose in 2-3 months can be regained in just 2-3 days. Especially for people like me who can put on weight at just the smell of ghee or butter!! Now, the grass is always green on the other side theory also works here. You look at the number of lean people who are trying to gain weight at the gym and start wondering, is it so hard??!! I was looking at a lean girl in our apartment the other day who was complaining that she was not able to gain weight and started wondering, “What did your family put you on - a butter and chocolate diet?!”.

But you know what, you are pulled back to reality whenever you look at yourself  in a mirror. Your focus comes back to that layer that is hanging out of your tummy or your hips. If it was only running the miles, then you might just have done it. But what about the eating healthy part that's important along with the running/walking!! Again we are fighting here.

Well, everything said and done, realization strikes you hard when you are in the trial room of some store. You try hard to convince yourself that you still can fit into the same waist sized jeans or a top you did a couple of years ago. But alas!! And when a long lost friend comes across and tells you “Hey, long time buddy, I couldn't recognize you. You have put on so much weight!”, all hell breaks loose. The number on the weighing machine starts weighing on your mind regularly. You are left with no choice but to start exercising or find a gym nearby and donate some money again.

It is an infinite loop :-(

Sometimes ignorance is bliss!

Everyone keeps secrets. Some have secrets about a crush, about the way they are feeling about someone or something, about some event that happened in their life or even about as trivial as something that they ate on a particular day (which they shouldn't have had). I feel that, regardless of what it is, it is kept a secret because of one main reason - fear of judgement!

We all must have judged someone at one point or the other in our life without even realizing it and must have felt others judging us too. But the funny thing here is that we don't get to decide what other people think or feel about us. They get to decide it all on their own.

I sometimes wonder - if someone judges me and thinks bad about me, then whose problem is it? Should I be upset over something that someone else feels? Would I really want to know all the bad remarks that someone makes about me and be upset over it unnecessarily?

Sometimes I feel that keeping secrets is not that bad either. You never know...it might save a heartache, might help keep friendship tighter, might save a person some emotional attack or even might save us from a judgement that we need not know existed.

However, most times, I think ignorance is bliss :-)

Disconnected!

Today, I was wondering how the minds of each person is wired differently. Which is probably why everyone thinks and acts in their own way. There are some whose moods are affected by the little things that happen in and around their life and they hold onto it, say, may be for a week or two depending on the intensity of the incident of course. I wonder how long can this annoyance last? Because that is something that affects the behavior of a person towards the others.

The only word that came to my mind looking at this person today was : ICE COLD!!

This scares me sometimes because I fear that the disconnection of this person might just affect me like an auto switch! This sort of sudden disconnection is prone to affect any kind of relationship. As I said people are wired differently and as such are completely different individuals. Add to it this disconnection and people start blaming the laziness and time factors for affecting the relationship later. What we choose to do about it counts isn't it? How can just one person working on it be enough? 

I sometimes wonder, whether mood changes have any effect? May be they do because one second the person is as normal as he/she can ever be and the next moment like this ice filled bath tub!! One moment he/she is such a lovely person to talk to and the next like a total stranger!

I'm sure this post sounds ridiculous and so do I....

'Hope' fully yours :-)

What is the most important lesson we learn in life? That whatever happens, happens for the best and with a purpose. Usually this first lesson in optimism is not always the first to come to our minds when the going gets tough. We always tend to lose hope in times of great distress. Even on a bright sunny day, we worry and fear that it won't last long enough.

Yeah, the times may be bad sometimes and it might look as if a great disaster is about to strike us. Having gone through a very painful and stressed period in my life before, I've come to believe and realize that optimism and hope are like soul sisters. They help us face the fiercest of the storm with a smile on our faces. Its like, if we never even think that things might get better, it never will! If the battle is lost in our minds, then its truly lost!

I have read so many heart touching and truly inspiring stories that raised goose bumps on my skin. In each and every story, "hope" was the word which made the person "hang in there". It is something that distinguishes the people who are able to gather ample courage to carry on with their lives from the people who give up and fall off the wonderful yet difficult road of life. It is like the light at the end of the tunnel. To be able to see the light, we must first be willing to "look" for it.

Its so uncanny, how we know what's right for us but often fail to put it to practice. I've very often felt guilty of faltering myself in this aspect. I just hope that these words would find their way to persons in need of it right now and light some hope in their lives.

My experiences have taught me that no matter how good or bad things are for us right now, we should never ever lose hope and enthusiasm for life because - Life is whatever we make of it :-)

Dreams vs Reality

Dream - Wake up at 5 in the morning, enjoy watching the sunrise along with a steaming cup of coffee and then go for a walk.
Reality - Wake up at 8 or 9, eat a namesake breakfast and rush to work/class.

Dream - Over the weekend, spend some quality time with family, go to the nearby park early in the evening, laze around for sometime and try writing down my thoughts.
Reality - Attend classes on weekend and come back home late after practice. Even the thought of going to the park at that time brings all kinds of funny expressions on my face...

Dream - Sit and revise what has been taught in the class and prepare for the exam.
Reality - Still trying hard to start studying...

Dream- Read more about the amazing things around us...
Reality - Most of the time on IM, Youtube and Facebook...

Dream - Find really something interesting to blog about
Reality - There is nothing spicy happening in my life right now...so I guess this is how it would be :-)

Morning Sunshine!

Well, in utter contrast to the post title, I've never been an early bird! Even when I was a kid (and I was like a very obedient thing on the planet in most things those days), waking up early was a herculean task and no one could get me to do it regularly. I still remember the times when my mother would yank me out of bed and throw me straight into the bathroom in an effort to get me to complete my half done homework in time for school or to make me study during the exams. Sometimes she would just throw a big mug of water on me while I would still  be on bed. I even remember that one time when my parents tried waking me and my brother up several times to no avail. Since mom was getting late for work and since we were being so stubborn, she just locked us home and left! I didn't go to school that day because I woke up only at 12 in the afternoon! It was only after a lot of pleading and crying (this I did in front of dad. He always had a really soft corner for me even though I did such naughty things at times) that my mother agreed to write me a leave letter that did not say that I missed school because I was lazy. Ah! such wonderful days :-)

And then college life came along. Life was blissful and I never saw a single sunrise in the 4 years of my engineering unless it was an emergency like I was staying up late to study just a day or two before the actual exams, which was another phenomenon altogether :-)

And then college life was over and it was time to get a job. I happily applied to become a computer professional completely unaware of what was in store for me. I knew some companies in the IT industry started early and some didn't really follow a particular time pattern when it came to work hours. But as time wore on, I realized that depending on the work, sometimes "extra early" would have to become a "normal" for me! And now, here I am. Everyday I wake up at unearthly hours either because sleep eludes me or because I have to get ready for my classes which start so early even on weekends. The little girl who went to bed late on a Friday night, now has to sleep at 10.30 or 11.00 pm itself in order to get the extra hours of her beauty sleep to wake up for the class on time :-)

Now, I try waking up early every day just to catch a glimpse of the sunrise, but the sun beats me to it most of the days :-) Someday, I'd like to take a moment to sit and enjoy that spectacle and not worry about anything in the world. 

Sleepless and why!

Its 1.30 AM and I don't really know why I am not able to sleep. And the weirdest thing is that I am thinking of my school and college days and wondering how time just flies and I can't believe its already 2012. Those days just seem like a fantasy.

Well, I don't really consider them the most prolific days of my life. When I look back, I cant even relate the person I am now with the person I was in those days - so silent, so vulnerable, so naive, so stupid and foolish. And yet...what a time it was!

A time when we were such half-baked human beings...easily shaken by some self imagined demons, always wanting to fit in with the crowd, so dependent on others for acceptance, so many self invented constraints, concerns, worries and so much of self doubt.

Inspite of that, they were still such awesome and wonderful times when we as kids, used to share everything with our friends, when there was no discrimination among the friends, no reading between the lines, no presumptions and no emotional baggage. Was it some kind of an illusion in life's grand scheme of things? Some kind of a mirage or some excuse to make all the gullible mistakes of life, a time where we could be the most stupidest person on earth and still get away with it, a time where we dared to dream the most impossible dreams without even the faintest idea of reality, a time of infinite thick headed optimism where we believed that life would be all rosy and heavenly if we had enough money in our wallets and enough movies to watch, a time of happy illusions where even small ups made us ecstatic and the slightest downs made us so miserable, a time when my definition of a career was just some job that mints me more money, a time when money was scarce but happiness from even small accomplishments was huge.

And it was a time that just flew as if those years were some magical numbers that just vanished from my life's timeline!

Will a time like that ever come back?

Happy Birthday Appa

I wanted to call and wish you on your birthday, but your number is no longer in service. I wanted to send you a gift and a greeting card but no one knows the forwarding address. I guess, heaven is just too far away...

Happy Birthday to the sweetest and the most adorable dad. How I wish I could tell you in person how much I miss you and how much I love you.

For those of you who are daddy's little girls and who are lucky to still have them with you, you know how special that relationship is. Take a moment and feel how fortunately blessed you are for having them around. I have always said this and I'm saying this again. Its so easy to take time for granted. But, one day, God chooses to take our loved ones home and its harder than words can express. No one is invincible. So please take time and let your loved ones know that they are special and how much you love them.

Once again,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY APPA
Loads of love and hugs from your little girl.

Is impatience the new way of life?

"Impatience is the new life" - just happened to remember this tag line that was used by this particular broadband services in an advertisement a couple of years ago. We all live in an era where we keep seeing disturbing and destructive changes around us and we ourselves are restless to change things in our favor. We always want things to move fast and expect results too very quickly. We are such an impatient generation.

Just one look around and we get to see the signs of this impatience. We hate to wait for everything. We can't sit and watch a cricket match for six hours and hence the faster format T20's are our favorite. We are so impatient to blog or read a blog, so we tweet or post a status on our facebook walls or timelines. We are so impatient to send mails so we IM. We can't wait for one song to finish until we start listening to another. We absolutely hate slow moving queues so we book online. We have absolutely zero tolerance towards delays in getting information. This characteristic is not just endemic to a certain age of people but to the whole lifestyle of this impatient generation.

We are also a generation which needs change and also needs to be constantly occupied. Either we work hard or play harder! Our lives are so enveloped by this constant static noise that even a little silence startles us. There is an underlying restlessness even though we are occupied with our aims, ambitions, dreams, hopes and desires. We are constantly wanting things and struggle to get them. We are constantly dissatisfied with what we already have and are forever hungry to do/get more.

We are impatient not because of greed but because there is so much to know and so little time, so many things to choose from but so little leisure to enjoy. Every moment we get such enticing ideas and options and we realize there is only one life to live it all. So, we are never ever completely satisfied with where we are or what we want!!

I don't really know if this is a good thing or a bad one. But I really wonder how far we can go on like this until we burn and fizzle out!! Should we stop, look and introspect? Will it do us any good if we try to understand the virtue of patience and force ourselves to go slow? Will a deeper understanding and perception of things lead us to a satisfied and blissful life?

May be it will or maybe not.

Happy New Year - 2012

I don't really believe in making resolutions for new year and hence none this year too :-) I shall try to keep things simple because, after all, its better to surprise life rather than letting life surprise me...what say? ;-)

Happy New Year - 2012 everyone...may this year be filled with loads of happiness, sweet surprises and great success for everyone.

Hugs.