Dead man talking?

This incident actually happened with a friend of mine last month. He was going home from the airport in a cab one night. The road was a bit deserted and did not have much traffic. My friend was seated at the back and in order to instruct the driver to take a diversion, placed his hand on the drivers shoulder and called out to him. All of a sudden the driver screamed, lost control of his cab, missed the divider by inches and came to an abrupt stop in front of a tree. 

After a few moments of silence, 

Cab driver - Please sir, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!!

Guy at the back - I am so sorry. I did not realize that a small tap on your shoulder will scare you so much!

After a few moments, the driver replied - Well, I am sorry. It's not really your fault. The truth is that this is my first day as a cab driver.

Guy - Oh! What were you doing before?

Cab driver - I've been driving a mortuary van (carrying dead bodies) for the past 15 years!!

Ta Ta - Bye Bye Boss :-)

A manager(XYZ) of a software project, refreshing his email inbox at work one day, was astonished to see a mail from an employee who was supposed to be busy working at client location on a very critical project, with the email subject line as "Ta Ta - Bye Bye". With the worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:

Dear XYZ,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you this email to inform you that I'm leaving the job. The offer I got from the new company is too lucrative and attractive for me to turn it down. I had to abscond from work because I want to avoid a scene with the HR and you. I am sorry but I have no choice.

The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of which only 38% issues are high priority. Hence I am sure there is no need for you to worry about anything. The next phase of major enhancements I have been working upon, have been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would replace me would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my insight and "big heart".

I am ofcourse retaining the originals that I had retrieved for the purpose of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from you. I am moving out of town since the new company is situated in another city. Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always with me. Last but not the least. I also have the 7000 rupees entrusted to me by our project's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event we had all planned. I am sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my command.

I thank you for that in advance, and assure you that I will surely invest them wisely (but not in your company's stocks of course).

Don't worry. I am 4 years experienced now, learning so much from your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for the new company.

Also, I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I will be very glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.

Your faithful employee,

Senior Software Engineer :--)

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PS". Hands still trembling, the manager read:

PS: Dearest XYZ, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working on the high priority enhancement at client location. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary and Appraisal" attached with this mail. Please approve it and call me when it is safe for me to come to our office to discuss this. 
My respect and Best Regards to you!

Father's Day - I miss you dad

My dearest dad...you are a world away. How I wish I could tell you in person how much you mean to me. I really miss you a lot. Love you loads!

Me and Dad in 2008...our last photograph together

Some things that will make you feel old!!

• The Bollywood movie "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge" was released 16 years ago!
• Windows XP was released 10 years ago in 2001!
• The new millenium (2000) is more than a decade old!
• Pierce Brosnan last acted as James Bond 9 years ago!
• Its been 10 years since 9/11 !!
• The Hollywood movie "The Matrix" came out 12 years ago!
• Mother Theresa and Lady Diana have been dead for 14 years!!
• Sushmita Sen and Aishwarya Rai became world beauties 17 years ago! Yeah, they are old too!
• Remember "Jungle Book" on Doordarshan? That was more than 15 years ago!
• The movie "Home Alone" came out 20 years ago! The child hero of the movie Macaulay Culkin is 30 now!
• The movie "Terminator-2, The Judgement Day" came out 20 years ago too. Edward Furlong who portrayed the kid John Connor in the movie is 33 now!
• Sean Connery is 80 years old and retired!
• The first Harry Potter book came out 14 years ago when I was in high school!
• The first season of the series "FRIENDS" was aired 17 years ago! The cast of the series are in their 40's now!
• Arnold Schwarzenegger is older than independent India, he was born in June 1947!
• The movie "Jurassic Park" is older than Justin Beiber!
• Rajiv Gandhi has been dead for 20 years now!
• Remember the li'l girl from the movie "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai"...She is 23 now! Even the first "Rasna Girl" is all grown up!
• Bryan Adams' cult song "Summer of 69" was released 26 years ago! 
• Facebook and Orkut have been around for 7 and 9 years respectively! (Kids whom you remember in their diapers are posting their pics on one of these social networking sites these days!!) 

Phew...I thought "age" was just a number...these facts sure make me feel old!! :-P

Communication Failure :-)

One day, a teacher decided that a visual demonstration in the class would add emphasis to the teaching and placed four worms into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol, the second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke, the third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup and the fourth worm was put into a container of clean soil. Then the teacher continued teaching...

At the end of the class, the teacher said:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead. 

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead

Fourth worm in clean soil - Alive.

Then the teacher asked the class - Dear students, what did you learn from this demonstration?

A little girl sitting at the back quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"