The Key to everything...

He is a Don...
He is the Key to everything....
So....does that mean....he is a DonKey???

What the heck!!

Family gatherings

I think the whole idea behind family gatherings, of getting in touch with cousins and elders is a very cool idea....in principle that is! That being said, I'm quite sure that I miss half of what goes on at get-togethers, because while the male relatives say hello, how are you, sit down, and stay relatively silent, the women in the house, especially the elders.....well, what can I say!!

With the women in the family....there's always a constant torrent of noise (No disrespect to the women folk though...just my observations). Every female relative in a family gathering insists on dissecting things in minute detail afterwards so that car rides are filled with "Can you believe she said that?", "Why did he say that?" or "Why don't they remember what happened?"

The male cousins just tend to sit in a sort of silence. Any topic brought out is met with either agreement, a polite surprise or inquiry or occasionally a fascinated discussion. And just like it started, the conversations just fade to an acceptable relaxed level. Most of the times, the male cousins are not great conversationalists.  But the women in the family....I figure they are all significantly more vociferous. The male cousins keep chatting in a low simmer and the women most times keep yapping it up in the next room. But sometimes even this yapping is very very amusing :) You feel some kind of void if the noise is not there!

It all starts when we're all around a table, sharing food and talking. This is exactly when the really awkward questions start - "When are you getting married dear?", "How's that new job of yours?", "Why don't we get to see you more often?" etc. etc... Judgement is such an ugly phenomenon when it comes from relatives, isn't it?

If you haven't experienced this yet or are puzzled about what I'm talking...may be you will experience it too...in time. I'm not exactly sure how or why it happens, but it does...all the time!!! Which is why I sneak out of the room when such topics arise and always find the most comfortable place in the house to close my eyes and sleep when I can't add anything to such conversations. 

I always feel that there needs to be some sort of bluetooth-based messaging system or something of that sort for people like me around a table...people who have cellphones and want to message or communicate something to each other without texting so that we can keep ourselves occupied in-between awkward questions, the cheesy family jokes, and unrelated conversations...

Now that this is out of my system...I'm gonna move on and listen to some feet tapping numbers...Highly recommended :)

Cultured?

They say Humans are cultured...
Ha!!
So are bacteria!!!!

Higher and Iyer

I have no clue what it is about skyscrapers and tall marvelous architectures that fascinates me so much.



To begin with, it makes me proud to be sharing my planet with people who can build such marvelous things. I haven’t lived in the time of pyramids, but I have definitely lived in the time of Olympiaturm, Burj Khalifa, Petronas etc. Not bad, eh?

They tell me what a long way I have to go, and that there’s room for so much more. I am still at the ground floor. It makes me think how peaceful (lonely perhaps?) it would be up there. I may love the madness down here, but at the end, when I retire for the night, I would want to be somewhere up there.

It makes me think of the view from up there. A privileged view for a privileged few. If I ever happen to own a home up there somewhere, I would get up every morning, and take a picture from my window. A decade down the line, I could make a motion picture of the city’s changing skyline. Now wouldn’t that be something? :-)

Alive again

What one writes reflects their inner state of mind and mine had been pretty muddled for the past couple of weeks. I had not been able to be my quintessential happy-go-lucky girl then. But I believe I have learnt how to take most things with a pinch of salt now. Otherwise it would pinch the people around me in a nasty manner beyond description.

Perhaps the song "kahaan chali gayi hai saali khushi" (where has the bloody happiness gone?) from the movie "Dev-D" best described my predicament. I even thought something was wrong!! Silly me!!!

Even though I could not put my finger on the reason for my restlessness, I did realize that I needed to relax, have time for myself, ask myself some questions and at the same time count my blessings.

Having done that over the weekend, I feel alive again :-)

So much to play and so little time

I was thinking about the new addition to our family and was smiling to myself when I remembered my conversation with my niece, my cousin's adorable daughter the last time I visited their place at my native.

Me: Hey sweetheart, what are you doing?

My niece: I am bored and I want to play!

Me: Alright, that sounds like fun! Let's play!

My niece:  But I can't play!

Me: Why not???

My niece:  I have so many toys, but I don't know what to play with!

Me: Pick your favorite toy and we will play with that!

My niece:  But all of them are my favorite!

Me: Then close your eyes and just pick one toy and we will play.

My niece:   If I close my eyes, then how will I pick something without seeing it? You are not helping me at all and confusing me even more!

Me: *stunned silence*

My niece:   There is so much to play and so little time!

Aaaaaah.....I would do anything to be a little kid again, where the only worry in the world is not being able to decide what to play! :) :) :)

The stinking truth?

Last Friday I reached my office campus early so as to be done with my work equally early in the evening. Normally I use the stairs, but I don't know what got into me, I rushed into the elevator and found myself standing beside 3 other people.

Now, I don't know what am I supposed to make of it. The moment I got into the elevator, all three walked out!!

The only possible reasons I can think of - all three coincidentally forgot to have their breakfast and probably were rushing to the cafeteria or I need to consider a change of my deo brand!!

Let me just assume that it was the former and get on with my life ;-)

Confessions!

I've been fiddling with a lot of ideas for a while now but none of them materialized into blog posts so far.

No, I don't want to write about the always-barking dog from the second floor of our apartment or drone about the miseries at my new work place. Yeah, Facebook went public yesterday though its not making a hell of a difference in my life. And when politics is not exactly your favorite topics, do the mango people really care about anything else? Not sure!

Well, jokes apart, the only word to describe my predicament right now is "stuck". Stuck may be because I am too contended with what I am doing or may be because I don't want to move out of my comfort zone. Unless I crawl out of this comfort zone, there is very little chance to do anything outstanding. This is similar to the way I've been treating this space. I almost always write when I feel good or when there is a steady inflow of thoughts and mostly when it suits me. And I don't push myself or challenge my limits.

I am stuck. All I need is a stinging motivation, a burning ambition that will not let me sleep. That's the only way to crawl out of this rut.

Amma and me :)

Today on Mother's Day, I felt as if I haven't done anything for her all these years. But then it struck me that whatever I do for her, it would be nothing, simply nothing when compared to the love she showers on me each and every moment!

Growing up, I was always my daddy's girl and was scared of my mom. Needless to say, I miss my dad a lot. I am more attached to my mom now. I know she loves me so much (even though I get scolded by her at least 20 times a day) and wants me to be ME despite everything. I want to be so much like her, but deep down I don't think I can be as awesome as she is. She is truly a gem of a person and I am super lucky to have her in my life.

Love you Amma :-)

Love you Amma

What do you really need?

We want so many things in life - a luxurious villa facing the ocean, a fat six figure salary, a perfect chiseled goddess-like figure and what not!! Sometimes we do get what we want and many times we don't.

In real life, you usually get things which you really really want if you try hard. Sometimes we also have these good-to-have wish list which usually comes into limelight and life changes around and makes you achieve those wishes. In fact, I have felt this. Many times, there are certain things that I want only in my head. Say for example the sexy job of a high flying consultant. But the heart wants something entirely different. Say for example to settle down in my happy sleepy hometown somewhere down the line or be able to spend more time with my family. So, while I keep telling myself that I want the former, I subconsciously desire the latter. And, something that I really want with all my heart is what I unknowingly work for! And trust me, it works!!

Every time I keep sending such confusing signals to my brain. So, how do I decide what I really need? Get a doctor? Stick electrodes to my hair and monitor my brain waves? Many people have told me that it need not be so complicated. When in confusion, all you need to do is to list down the things that are good to have and the things that you emotionally desire. Both these things feel so similar yet are so different that you think you want something but you actually want something entirely different!

And then, may be you can train your mind like a white rat in a lab or those monkeys and parrots you see on the road performing. Then you picture yourself going through the emotions when you achieve what you really want. Can you picture yourself happy and content there? If yes, then probably your heart can be tricked to really want what your brain wants!!

Confused?? I know!! Isn't that how we really are?? Confused, needy and pathetic life forms!! :-)

Alien Attack

Looks like I'm on a dreaming spree these days and that too the strangest of things. I know I said this in my last post Dream On too. I had this dream yesterday and though I haven't recorded all my dreams, I thought I'll type this one as this was a little weird.

It all starts with me and some friends of mine standing in the terrace looking at the stars and constellations (the after effect of watching 'The Wrath of the Titans' I guess) with a huge telescope. Suddenly we spot a car shaped star (I had discussed about Adobe Illustrator with a friend yesterday, who is a Graphic Designer and I was told that a star can be modified into any shape using that software). My friends start jumping and shouting in excitement. We start discussing about that star when suddenly we hear footsteps. Its as if someone is running towards us.

We are all shocked to see the President, Sylvestor Stallone (LOL!! I know I know how it seems now!) walking towards us. He was quite serious when he announced that Aliens are planning to attack Bangalore and that me and my friends have to fight them! We are surprised and tell him that 'we haven't seen any aliens through the telescope. Even if they attack, how will we fight them and how will we defeat them?' He said that he has ordered for some custom made M2 .50 caliber machine guns for this purpose (Rambo??). He said, 'haven't you seen the car shaped star. Haven't you seen any alien movies? Aim for the nose. That is their weak spot. We have to eliminate them fast otherwise they will make us their slaves and rule the world! You are the saviors of the world'. (I don't know in which movie I heard this and I didn't also ask why this job had to be done by us!!!!)

After hours and hours of running, shooting, hiding and again shooting, only me and the main alien are left. The alien had its weapon point blank at my forehead and I had my machine gun on its nose!!!

And then.....BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woke up with the torch in one hand, pillow in the other and very glad to be alive :-)

Happy VISHU

May we all be reminded of all those things that are truly wonderful during this wonderful season of yet another New Year (VISHU) - a time to look forward to peaceful, meaningful, prosperous days ahead.

Wishing you all a wonderful New Year (regional) :-)

April 14, 2012 - Vishukkani @ Home

Just another Monday evening :-)

As I was sitting in the bus on my regular commute, I saw an old ad for some matrimonial above the opposite seat which read something along the lines of "Mr. Right could be sitting beneath this ad".

One look at the supposed Mr. Right beneath the ad and it quickly confirmed everything. Just that I was staring at a middle aged woman, reading a book and frowning at something she read :-)

Blah blah and more blah

Sometimes the ironies of life are such...

When you want a conversation, everyone is busy.

When you want to be left alone, people will come seek you out.

When you want to keep a low profile, what you do becomes everyone else's business.

That's when I decide to rebel...

I keep quiet when I want to speak out. My silence works much better than my outburst.

When I realize I am not strong enough to bend will against instinct, I prefer to stay away from things.

And mostly, I smile when I am at my angriest. The argument ends without any permanent damage because the best fights are the ones we avoid :-)

Common Sense Vs Temper

Sometimes, we all are misunderstood and guess what, at the same damn time too! Be it the misunderstanding between friends, siblings, someone you care about or even colleagues, it affects you somehow. When the day has been long, tiring and anxiety ridden and the night just stretches like elastic with loads of anxious moments, you wonder whether to just snap or ignore. I even wonder why I'm even letting things get to me in the first place!!

I sometimes wonder whether the other person is wondering the exact same thing. When you feel angry enough to not want to speak at all, whether the other person is also debating whether to vent out or not. I always remind myself that and rush forward with the olive branch. And then I get angry when this is met with a Kroor Singh look!

Of course common sense tells me that it works better just to let things be until sanity and peace is restored. But, its so very hard to control yourself till then!