An Iyer girl's musings!

Looks like I am on a writing spree here...three posts in three days....which is good I suppose. I was watching this bollywood flick yesterday night and the central theme of the movie was "pyar soch samajhkar nahi kiya jaata, bus ho jaata hai" (You never think before falling in love. Love just happens). A friend of mine fell in love and got married after a huge "Mahabharat battle" with her folks. So I was musing over it for a while in the night and decided to type down my thoughts.


A majority of the Indian middle class youngsters stick to arranged marriage for various reasons. And most of them I guess would have given up on their love just because of the pressure from their parents. No, this is not the age-old debate of  "arranged marriage vs love marriage". These are just some musings of a middle class Iyer girl. Relax Mom! I am not trying to tell you something through this :-)


The fact is that most parents are very conservative when it comes to marrying their child off to a guy/girl of a different caste (forget religion). We all know very well that when cupid strikes it is really tough and sometimes futile to resist. You come up with very lame reasons like "I can't live without looking at his/her eyes" or "he is so caring and sensitive" or "both of us like the movie Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, how cute is that?" etc etc. I heard that love is something which drives people crazy, so much so that they would go to any extremes for the person they are in love with. Thanks to our movies that give a million ways in which love unfolds that we are never short of examples of love stories. So, when you realize that you are in love with someone, would you be able to resist? 


Every individual has a right to shape their lives and a life partner is the most important part of ones life. But in our society where many parents are still not open minded about such love stories, can we take a risk? I call it a risk because many a times you might be able to convince them that your decision is not erratic and that it is something which was taken after a lot of careful thought (If you can narrate to your parents your love story and convince them for an arranged 'love' marriage, then you have a very good business potential ;-)). And the battle starts when they do not approve of it.  Elope, register your marriage, come with a baby in one year’s time and ask your parents to forget everything :-) I sometimes think - is it really worth this fight? Should you hurt your parents's sentiments? After all, they lived their life for you!! All this said, the struggle starts now to find someone of your same clan and then fall in love :-) Doesn't it all sound stupid sometimes?? I mean, can you go to a guy/girl and say, “Hey, you know what? I love You. Would you like to spend the rest of your life with me? Er, Um … by the way you are an Iyer right??!!” :-P


Like love in itself is not complicated enough, there comes the problem of meeting the parents! Probably people who have been there and done that would be able to explain the intricacies of the whole thing.


Is it really possible to step aside and defend ourselves from the cupid strike when you meet someone who is so meant for you, someone with whom you'll be happy to spend the rest of your life with? Or should you just go into a shell and be narrow-minded?


I guess this confusion would occur only to a certain set of people. Some wouldn’t even understand what I am talking about. People from the west would really laugh out loud at this. Sometimes I wonder if their approach to life is much more simpler - A son/daughter would go to their parents and say “Mom, Dad, I am getting married” and the mother would jump, hug her baby and say “Oh honey, I am so happy for you!” :-)


But since I am in that part of the world where many people are not that broad minded (but I would say that they are more sensible), I would think a million times before venturing into something like this. And in the end, I guess I would decide to kick away the cupid.


What about you??

In the pursuit of craziness...

Do you ever get this urge to stand up from your cubicle, may be on top of your desk, and start singing on top of your voice or start dancing? Most of us do, don't we? :-) Blame it on the music industry! This thought first struck me when I was working at the Kochi office back in July 2009 and a colleague was playing this song called "Dhan Te Nan" from the movie "Kaminey" whose audio got released somewhere during that time. Now, you really cannot blame me for feeling so? Can you?

If you can, then you belong to the "mango people"(aam aadmi) category. You know, the "do engineering – get a job – get married – buy a house – have a kid – get him/her into school – finish the loans – retire – regret about your life – wait for the eventuality" types. Well sadly, I also belong to this category and I am almost quarter way through :-(

Life has become so monotonous that I feel just like Hrithik Roshan in the song "Main Aisa Kyun Hun". I know, I know...this is the introspection time in my life. And what do I figure out? I figure out that my life outside the workplace (sometimes even at the workplace :-P) is contained to a fixed set of websites:

1. Gmail 
2. The Naukri website
3. The FB & G+
4. The Youtube videos
5. The Chat windows – The same people, the same conversations(mostly)
6. The Property websites
7. The food websites
8. The Car websites
9. Blogger etc.

But it's just not me. Everyone around me is doing the same!! It is like one of those computer games with different levels. The moment you conquer one of these levels, you ought to start giving tips to the others on how to finish the task. For example, the moment you are engaged/married you start giving advise to the singletons asking them how one should start, how a delay might harm your chances of finding 'someone' ever, how you should get tied down soon etc etc., very subtly saying that I have finished the level, and you are kind of lagging behind. 

I ask someone for an explanation as to why I should buy a property now or why I should get married and I get the trademark standard answer – 'That's life'!!! Well, it is life I agree. But are you living it? I am kind of bored asking myself this question time and again. I've had enough of reading "Oh God, its Monday again" status messages or with "What am I doing in this job" statements or the whole lot of jokes revolving around peanuts (salaries) or last but never the least, the "I am bored" statements. 

So what can we do about this situation of mass depression amongst the late twenties people?

Pata nahi.. Pata chalte hi aapko hi pehle bataungi (You'd be the first one to know when I know it myself).....

But we can make a start, can't we? I am not going to say something like quit your job and do what you are passionate about. I am not a hypocrite. Neither a hippopotamus (well, let's discuss this in another post, shall we? :-)). 

Go ahead and do things that you want. Even if you don't get to do the job you like, it will pay you enough to do things that you like. Take a road trip. Just abscond for a couple of weeks, live under a different name in some island (lol, cant imagine myself doing this anytime but still typing it here just because it sounds great). Learn at least one musical instrument. Explore at least 2 states in the country per year. And keep one of them an unplanned trip. Start cycling. Go swim. And do adventure sports once in every 3 months. Play the games you like. Make a maximum number of movies watching record every month (yeah, I did this and felt great). And try and beat it every next month (yet to do this). 

Go on and add to this list! 

What the eff happened to DD?

Normally while surfing through channels, I NEVER stop at Doordarshan, NEVER. Mostly, there will be either strange-looking aunties talking about dead, boring subjects or some gareeb version of the saas-bahu serials. 


But THAT night, DD was something else. It was playing this 1985 movie - Adventures of Tarzan where Hemant Birje was the beefy Tarzan and Kimi Katkar, the desi Jane.


Let me tell you that I was never surprised by skin show on TV even when when the cable TV came into limelight and channel V and MTV showcased lot of "budding talent" when they started airing programs. But THIS was DD for heavens sake! A few scenes of Kimi Katkar left nothing to imagination, but the fact that those scenes went unedited on Doordarshan surprised me even after all these years. 

What happened to my Duck Tales, Tale spin and The Jungle Book?? What!?

Dead man talking?

This incident actually happened with a friend of mine last month. He was going home from the airport in a cab one night. The road was a bit deserted and did not have much traffic. My friend was seated at the back and in order to instruct the driver to take a diversion, placed his hand on the drivers shoulder and called out to him. All of a sudden the driver screamed, lost control of his cab, missed the divider by inches and came to an abrupt stop in front of a tree. 

After a few moments of silence, 

Cab driver - Please sir, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!!

Guy at the back - I am so sorry. I did not realize that a small tap on your shoulder will scare you so much!

After a few moments, the driver replied - Well, I am sorry. It's not really your fault. The truth is that this is my first day as a cab driver.

Guy - Oh! What were you doing before?

Cab driver - I've been driving a mortuary van (carrying dead bodies) for the past 15 years!!

Ta Ta - Bye Bye Boss :-)

A manager(XYZ) of a software project, refreshing his email inbox at work one day, was astonished to see a mail from an employee who was supposed to be busy working at client location on a very critical project, with the email subject line as "Ta Ta - Bye Bye". With the worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:

Dear XYZ,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you this email to inform you that I'm leaving the job. The offer I got from the new company is too lucrative and attractive for me to turn it down. I had to abscond from work because I want to avoid a scene with the HR and you. I am sorry but I have no choice.

The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of which only 38% issues are high priority. Hence I am sure there is no need for you to worry about anything. The next phase of major enhancements I have been working upon, have been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would replace me would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my insight and "big heart".

I am ofcourse retaining the originals that I had retrieved for the purpose of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from you. I am moving out of town since the new company is situated in another city. Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always with me. Last but not the least. I also have the 7000 rupees entrusted to me by our project's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event we had all planned. I am sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my command.

I thank you for that in advance, and assure you that I will surely invest them wisely (but not in your company's stocks of course).

Don't worry. I am 4 years experienced now, learning so much from your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for the new company.

Also, I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I will be very glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.

Your faithful employee,

Senior Software Engineer :--)

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PS". Hands still trembling, the manager read:

PS: Dearest XYZ, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working on the high priority enhancement at client location. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary and Appraisal" attached with this mail. Please approve it and call me when it is safe for me to come to our office to discuss this. 
My respect and Best Regards to you!

Father's Day - I miss you dad

My dearest dad...you are a world away. How I wish I could tell you in person how much you mean to me. I really miss you a lot. Love you loads!

Me and Dad in 2008...our last photograph together

Some things that will make you feel old!!

• The Bollywood movie "Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge" was released 16 years ago!
• Windows XP was released 10 years ago in 2001!
• The new millenium (2000) is more than a decade old!
• Pierce Brosnan last acted as James Bond 9 years ago!
• Its been 10 years since 9/11 !!
• The Hollywood movie "The Matrix" came out 12 years ago!
• Mother Theresa and Lady Diana have been dead for 14 years!!
• Sushmita Sen and Aishwarya Rai became world beauties 17 years ago! Yeah, they are old too!
• Remember "Jungle Book" on Doordarshan? That was more than 15 years ago!
• The movie "Home Alone" came out 20 years ago! The child hero of the movie Macaulay Culkin is 30 now!
• The movie "Terminator-2, The Judgement Day" came out 20 years ago too. Edward Furlong who portrayed the kid John Connor in the movie is 33 now!
• Sean Connery is 80 years old and retired!
• The first Harry Potter book came out 14 years ago when I was in high school!
• The first season of the series "FRIENDS" was aired 17 years ago! The cast of the series are in their 40's now!
• Arnold Schwarzenegger is older than independent India, he was born in June 1947!
• The movie "Jurassic Park" is older than Justin Beiber!
• Rajiv Gandhi has been dead for 20 years now!
• Remember the li'l girl from the movie "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai"...She is 23 now! Even the first "Rasna Girl" is all grown up!
• Bryan Adams' cult song "Summer of 69" was released 26 years ago! 
• Facebook and Orkut have been around for 7 and 9 years respectively! (Kids whom you remember in their diapers are posting their pics on one of these social networking sites these days!!) 

Phew...I thought "age" was just a number...these facts sure make me feel old!! :-P

Communication Failure :-)

One day, a teacher decided that a visual demonstration in the class would add emphasis to the teaching and placed four worms into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol, the second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke, the third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup and the fourth worm was put into a container of clean soil. Then the teacher continued teaching...

At the end of the class, the teacher said:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead. 

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead

Fourth worm in clean soil - Alive.

Then the teacher asked the class - Dear students, what did you learn from this demonstration?

A little girl sitting at the back quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

Life is whatever you want it to be

Once in a while I pause from all the crazy things going on with me and around me and try to reflect on what happened. Its more like "you had the experience....what does it all mean?" Today, I was thinking about all the incidents that happened that completely changed my life!!

Life is unexpected. It just happens. You think you have solved one problem and try to relax but it presents another one before you can even blink! But I am not complaining at all. I completely believe that when things like this happen and life drops a bomb at your doorstep, it brings out the best in a person. It reveals who we are and what we are made of. There is no point in getting stressed over things you don't have a control on. Whatever has happened in the past, doesn't nullify the person I really am. It has made me bolder, confident and more courageous. I am more than happy to be able to do things which mean a lot to me which I couldn't have done otherwise. I am able to revive my hobbies and passions which I thought I had lost completely a few years ago.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. There comes a point in life when you have to let go of all the drama that happened and the people who created it. It's just not worth it to carry the baggage forward. This life is all about loving the people who treat you the right way and not giving a damn about the ones who don't. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive the people who caused so much hurt, but I definitely can forget them! Its all about believing that everything happens for a reason. Nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised that it would be worth it.

Life is whatever you want it to be...make it worth living for!

Oh Oh....what am I thinking!!!!!??

• When dog food is new and improved, who tests it?    I don't even want to think abt it ;-)
• Can we cry under water?    Not sure...may be we can...I've seen a couple of movies where they do! Or may be it's just the acting!!
• Why are the numbers on a phone and a calculator in the reverse order?    Have to ask the inventor I suppose!
• Do the fish ever become thirsty?    Will ask them and get back ;-)
• What should we call a male ladybird?    No comments! 
• Can a person get cornered in a round room?    May be with the eyes! :-P
• When a person owns a piece of land, does he/she own it all the way to the earth's core?    Hmm...tough one!
• Why do vehicles have speedometer which read certain speeds when you legally cannot go that fast on the road?    To break the rules right? ;-) :-P
• If a person suffering from short term memory loss was cured, would they remember that they forgot?    Doctor, please help! :-)

It can't get funnier than this!

English, though has its own rules of grammar, can be sometimes very funny and a language that is very hard to learn. Here are a few examples why it is so -

• There is neither an egg in eggplant nor pine/apple in a pineapple
• If teachers taught then why didn't preachers praught?
• Sometimes there are too many paradoxes in this language - quicksand is slow, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from guinea nor is it a pig!
• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
• In this crazy language, your nose "runs" and your feet "smell" :-)
• Why is it that when we transport something by car it is called shipment and when we do it by a ship it is called a cargo?
• Why do we call the third hand on the clock the second hand?
• If olive oil is made from olives then where does baby oil come from?
• Why does a night fall and never break but a day break and never fall?
• If harmless is the opposite of harmful then why are shameless and shameful the same?
• We say the sun "comes" up and "goes" down whereas the prices "go" up and "come" down!
• When the sun or the moon or the stars are "out" they are visible but when the lights are "out" nothing is visible!
• When I wind up my watch, I start it but when I wind up this post, I end it! :-)

The birthday wish

A few days before his birthday, little Richie came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner and decided that this was the correct time to tell her what he wanted for his birthday.

Richie - Mom, I want a red bike for this birthday.
Mom - Do you think you deserve the bike dear? (little Richie was a troublemaker both at home and at school. His mother wanted Richie to reflect on his behavior and realize for himself how he had behaved)
Richie - Of course Mom...I do.
Mom - Richie dear, I want you to go to your room, reflect on your behavior this past year and then write a letter to God telling him why you deserve a red bike this year for your birthday.
Richie - Oh c'mon mom...
but then reluctantly stomped to his room and sat down to write his letter.

Letter #1:
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and so I want a red bike this year for my birthday. Your friend.

Richie knew this was not true and that he had not been such a good boy this year. So, he tore that letter and set about writing another one.

Letter #2:
Dear God,
This is your friend Richie. I have been a good boy and would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you. Your friend Richie.

Richie knew this wasn't true either. So he tore this one too and wrote another one.

Letter #3:
Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike this year for my birthday.

Richie knew he couldn't send this letter either. So, he wrote his fourth letter.

Letter #4:
Dear God,
I know I haven't been a very good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you send me a red bike for my birthday. Please. Thank you.

But little Richie knew this letter won't get him his bike. He was very upset. So, he went down to the kitchen and told his mom that he wanted to go to the church. His mom was very happy thinking that her son had finally realized what she wanted him to. So she asked him to be back home before dinner.

Once at the church, he looked around to make sure no one was watching him. Then he went to the altar, bent down, picked up the statue of Virgin Mary, hid it inside his shirt and ran back to his home, rushed inside his room, locked it and sat down to write another letter.

Letter #5:
God, I HAVE KIDNAPPED YOUR MOM...IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND ME A RED BIKE!!!!
-Richie

Road-o-mania(c)

Travelling on our roads is like watching an adventure movie which guarantees loads of sound, spectacle and experience. It can be sometimes hilarious, mostly exciting and always unforgettable. This is what I observe everyday -

• Every person assumes that he/she is immortal before stepping out of the house.
• Our traffic is structured like our society's caste system. You have to give way to cows, goats, buffalo, dogs, heavy trucks, buses, light trucks, official cars, jeeps, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, autos, cycle-rickshaws, bicycles carrying goods, bicycles carrying passengers and finally the pedestrians. Well, did I miss out on something ?? I hope not!!!
• All vehicles with wheels seem to drive with the following mantra - to slow down is a punishable offence, to break is to fail and to stop is defeat.
• Short honking is used to clear the animals, rickshaws and pedestrians and long blasts of horn is mostly for the oncoming truck or the bus telling them that "I am going too fast to stop, so you better slow down or else you will get both of us killed" and in frantic situations the horn is followed by the flash of the headlights.
• Sometimes some people honk just once to say "Hey I recognize that fellow by the road side" or "Man..I'm bored...haven't blown my horn in a while".
• Heavy vehicles sounding horn implies that they have no intention of stopping even if they could and this sometimes is emphasized by the flash of headlights.
• Traffic entering a road from left has priority. So has the traffic from the right and also the middle.
• All the traffic irrespective of the direction of travel occupies the center of the road.
• All maneuvers like the use of horn and the hand signals or the direction indicators are used only at the last moment.
• Overtaking is mandatory. All vehicles overtake every other moving vehicle irrespective of the fact that it has just overtaken you. It is mostly done when there is a swarm of oncoming traffic or at blind bends or at junctions.
• And finally "Nirvana" may be achieved from head-on collision.

Chaos on wheels!!!

Wondering what the title is all about? Let me not keep it a suspense. Its all about our very own "shared autos" :-)
These are not so uncommon right? Well, a trip to Bangalore, especially the areas where there is a large IT population, schools and colleges, and you will understand why I am writing this! Better, be forced to live and work here and you will definitely find out!

I regularly take the shared autos to reach the main road which is about 2-2.5 kms from my workplace and vice-versa to reach the workplace in the morning from the main road. The same applies to reach my home from the bus stop which is about 1.5 kms. I know its a bit too much considering the fact that I own a car! But its too dangerous to drive on the highway during the work hours especially in the "oh so famous Bangalore city traffic". So its either the car or the chaos-on-wheels!! Like everything else you have to experience them to believe!

Take a medium sized auto where usually 3 healthy people (sometimes 4 if you are slim) can sit comfortably. Now, stuff such an auto with 5 people in the back with their bag, baggage and everything and 2 people in the front on either side of the driver (sometimes if this were not enough, the drivers even push school kids inside the chaos), add some dink-chak dink-chak music and bingo - you have your shared auto...everything fits and how! The "shared" part of the auto comes from the fact that there needs to be more than one person inside for the driver to start! So, here, unfortunately more than one person equals a minimum of seven!! So, a half empty auto always angles near each pedestrian especially the women almost intimidating them to get into the auto. No amount of pleading or coaxing will get the driver to move a bit faster.Time constraints?? Whatever is that???

The only mantra on which these shared auto guys operate is - "Must pick up passenger and stuff him/her inside" :-)

Thoughts about The Divine

Today, I was surfing the channels on TV and came across this particular spiritual channel where a guy was telling the crowd that he knows what God has in store for him in his life. Now that is what has triggered this thought.

If God were talking to you, how would you understand that you have to listen to Him? How do you listen to God, when you don't really understand how to understand when He speaks or do not speak the same language?  Do we really listen to God (If you are not an atheist that is) or do we just follow what we feel is right...you know... like just wait to see if it all lines up right or if He puts up a road block?

Just wondering...